242: Affair-proofing Your Marriage, with Andrea Giles

by | May 30, 2025 | General Posts, Podcast

Are there lessons we can learn from those that have gone through marital infidelity and use those lessons to improve our marriages today?

I personally haven’t dealt with this, but I know of many people that have just experienced the great heartache and the trouble that’s come through infidelity in their marriage.

So today I sat down with a longtime friend of mine and fellow marriage coach, Andrea Giles. She’s experienced firsthand the heartbreaking reality of infidelity in marriage in her first marriage years ago. But she’s come through it today able to help thousands of women work through the challenges associated with infidelity, as well as teaching many others how to affair-proof their marriages.

Today you’ll hear her emphasize the importance of prioritizing truth over peace, being honest with oneself, and creating a relationship where both partners can thrive fully.

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Don’t miss out on our upcoming International Lovemaking Day challenge! Join this 9-day challenge to improve intimacy, connection, and fun in your marriage (and maybe even win a prize). All the details are in the Intimately Us app. The fun starts Sunday, June 1!

Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Transcript

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors or inaccuracies. For the most accurate and complete experience, we recommend listening to the full podcast episode.

Episode 242: Affair Proof your Marriage: Andrea Giles

Dan: You know, I’ve been curious for a while about are there any lessons we can learn from those that have gone through marital infidelity and use those lessons to improve our marriages today? I [00:01:00] personally haven’t dealt with this, but I know of many people that have just experienced the great heartache and the trouble that’s come through infidelity in their marriage.

So today I sat down with a longtime friend of mine, Andrea Gilles. She’s fantastic. She’s also a fellow marriage coach. She’s experienced firsthand the heartbreaking reality of infidelity in marriage in her first marriage years ago. And as I say, I. Your mess becomes your message. And today she’s been able to help thousands of women work through the challenges associated with infidelity, as well as teaching many others how to affair proof their marriages.

Today you’ll hear her emphasize the importance of prioritizing truth over peace. Being honest with oneself and creating a relationship where both partners can thrive fully.

I hope you get as much out of this episode as I did, and I hope it inspires you to treat your marriage relationship with your special, someone with a little bit more devotion and care.

And I would be [00:02:00] horribly remiss if I didn’t tell you that the International Lovemaking Day challenge begins on Sunday, June 1st. This is a nine day challenge concluding on June 9th. Why June 9th? Well, June 9th is international love making date ’cause on the calendar it’s six nine, June 9th. Get it? It’s six nine day.

This is a day for couples to really embrace and enjoy their marriage and especially the sexual dimension of their marriage and we wanna celebrate it. It’s also intimately us apt. Birthday so it is part of our birthday celebration and part of the challenge that we’re putting together, we’re giving away lots of prizes and also the Intimately US app.

All the premium features go, unlocked just for June 9th and 10th only. So if you’re on the fence and you’ve been trying to see if you wanted upgrade to the premium version or not, that’s a great time to experiment with the app and see everything that it has to offer. All of the details are in the Intimately US app.

You download it, uh, right on the home screen, [00:03:00] you’ll see a countdown timer and also more instructions on the upcoming challenge. So download the Intimately US app today and enjoy six nine day coming up with our International of Making Day celebration.

Dan: Andrea, welcome to the Get Your Marriage On Podcast. How are you today?

Andrea: Wonderful. Thank you so much. So happy to 

be 

Dan: It’s a, it’s great to have you. I’ve known you for several years and

you have such a unique story and perspective. Tell me what, tell me your story. Tell our listeners your story.

Andrea: Okay. I’ll, I’ll start from the beginning. Um, I, I work in the infidelity field. That’s my entire business is all working with people navigating infidelity and. I got my sea legs by, by navigating a lot of it on my own, um, in my first marriage. And so what I will say, I got married pretty young. I was 19, got married pretty young.

what bright-eyed and bushy tailed, right? So excited about the future. [00:04:00] Pretty early on in the marriage, there were some things that felt like weird to me, almost like a, a different version of this person than who I thought I was marrying. Um, just 

some different behaviors, um, like trying to pick fights with me really early on, like right out the gate where, where I thought here we are, these happy newlyweds and building our life together and. Just many times of just wanting to argue and pick fights that it felt really strange to me. And I, it was 

surprising to me because I didn’t see any of that before we got married. At least to me, I didn’t see any of it directed at me. Okay. So, um, that kind of thing. Some, Some secretive behaviors that I saw early on.

we became parents pretty quickly. I had my first at 21. Pretty early on, um, there were behaviors of, what room are you gonna be in? I’m okay. I don’t wanna bother you, so I’ll be in this room over here, type stuff. 

[00:05:00] Things like that, that, that felt strange. But I didn’t know what I was dealing with at all. I didn’t know what, what it was.

Right 

Anyway, we, we were married for a total of 16 years. We had six children together. Four, and then we had twins. 

And over the years I saw. I saw more and more of just these behaviors that I didn’t understand, didn’t know. I tried to rationalize them away. 

So I’ll give you a little background here too. Um, 

he was very, very smart. Very smart man. he got into Oxford University. We went and lived in England. And he got a 

master. Yeah, Yeah, He got a master’s degree from Oxford and then it was, he, he thought he wanted to go to school to get a PhD. Got into a great grad school, um, university of Michigan. did two years of school, got a master’s degree, decided to shift gears and, decided to be, become a lawyer. Okay. So he ended up becoming a lawyer.

Um, went to school at [00:06:00] University of Michigan and then he got every job that he wanted, every, every 

job that he wanted to get, he got it, got the best jobs. And over the years, as things started to. I, I felt more and more distance, more and more animosity towards me, towards my kids, towards kind of life in general.

And I really genuinely did not know what was going on, but I knew that things were off okay. I knew like my, my spidey senses, I knew that there were things that were off. And so what I tried to do. As I tried to fix it and I thought, well, maybe if you switch out of this law firm to this law firm, or if we have another kid, or if, if, this part gets easier.

And so I was trying hard to make life easier to make a really lovely home that was, uh, I can’t say stress free because we had six kids. That’s, that’s too high. But really within reason, I tried really hard to make life [00:07:00] comfortable. And ultimately what happened is towards the end of our marriage, a whole bunch of stuff was revealed a lot of, a lot of deceit over many, many years.

That started out with, more minor, I guess you could say things, and then escalated into more and more encounters and different things that happened, and ultimately. The behaviors turned into, at, at home. It, it became pretty intense where there was a lot of ugliness, a lot of meanness towards me, towards the kids.

And I, I was a stay at home mom. We lived in the Bay Area. He was a lawyer for Google 

and I didn’t know what I was gonna do. I didn’t know how I was gonna be okay, but I ended up filing for divorce. There was something in me that knew. That it was destructive to my family for me to stay. And the next part is that seven months later he was recklessly driving and he [00:08:00] got in a car accident and died.

And he was only 39 years old and 

died and was gone. And so my kids, within a year’s time, we got divorced. Then their dad died seven months 

later. So it was a lot. It was, it was really, really intense. It was really intense. what I learned from all of that. I, while I was in it, while things were really intense, I had other women come to me and ask me for help.

And I remember feeling like such a hot mess, like mess. I got nothing. You know, like I’m trying to survive. 

Dan: When they say they’re coming to you for help, what kind of help are they coming to you for?

Andrea: Marriage issues. I remember people with similar like infidelity type things. Were they suspected or were they new and going, I don’t know what to do with this. Can you help me? And I remember knowing in my bones, like knowing that. Even though at the time I felt very ill-equipped to help, [00:09:00] I knew that I needed to get to the other side of this because I was gonna be helping people through it and that I needed to just get through it right and figure out how to 

get through it.

So, I was single for a while, a couple years, and I started, I dated a guy from Montana, a nice farmer man named Alex, who his first wife had died of cancer.

Dan: Mm-hmm.

Andrea: five children together and we ended up getting married. I moved to Montana to be with him, and I went back to school to be a therapist.

That was my path. That’s what I was gonna do. I’m like, this is it. I’m gonna be a therapist. And I was about a year into my marriage with him. And this is stuff we can get into because it’s, it’s useful to the conversation today. I was really, really struggling. Like really, really struggling personally, being in this life in the middle of nowhere in Montana 

where I felt kinda second fiddle to [00:10:00] this first wife who had died 

and was really, really struggling.

And I remember having this moment of either I need to leave or I need to figure out how to heal in a way that I haven’t yet. 

At that time, I was introduced to coaching. I was introduced to some specific coaching tools that I had never seen before. And it pulled me out. It, it helped give me power back, like, like, I’m not at the mercy.

Like there’s things I can do to help myself. And it was one of those moments where I just knew that I thought my path was this, it’s actually this. 

And I, I jumped ship and have done like so many trainings over the years to be able to do what I do now. But, uh, that’s kind of what started my actual career of, of coaching people in infidelity.

Dan: So back to your first marriage, you suspected some things you weren’t quite sure. Maybe there was a little bit of denial, self-denial

going on, 

Andrea: Absolutely.

Dan: [00:11:00] trying to fix things. Tell me the moment. Things started to unravel and the decisions you made

to confront things.

Andrea: Okay. So before I get to that, at the time my, my very best friend came, showed up at my door and said, Andrea, I know he’s lying to you. I know he is. Like, there’s several people that have seen things that know things, and it was, it was so hard to deal with.

It was so hard to see because of what it meant. 

Like if I say this, if this is real, then I have to deal with it, and 

it was terrifying. 

Dan: don’t wanna deal with it.

Andrea: No, no, it’s not convenient. It’s painful, it’s scary, right? When fast forward we had from that place, we had then moved three more times since that time that my best friend had come over.

we, We were in Texas. By that time we had moved to California and what happened is [00:12:00] I started to just see more and more. distance from him. Like really, really checked out, really closed off, really distant, very, very distant. Like I couldn’t reach him anymore. The connection there, there, the connection just felt gone.

and, and honestly in my situation, which is unique to me, okay, unique to me, but ultimately the things that I saw that were the thing that I said no more. Were a lot of anger aimed at my children

Dan: Yeah.

Andrea: some meanness and cruelty. And it was those things that, that were like, Nope, nope, nope. I, I, I can’t, I can’t stay in this anymore.

there were some specific instances that happened that my kids were really scared and really hurt, where I thought, I can’t, I can’t expose them to this anymore. And. You know what’s interesting is even at that point, I still only knew [00:13:00] like the tip of the iceberg of all the, all the things there were to know, of his involvement in all kinds of different things.

I only knew, like, not very much I, I knew, but I was, I was picking up on the symptoms. I was picking up on like his kind of downward spiral into a, a pretty dark place. So for me, it really, my decision came from less about what he was doing or not doing, and more about the impact on my children and on myself, and the chaos that was in my home and going, I have to do something about this.

I can’t, I can’t stay in this place.

Dan: Mm-hmm. And then once you made that decision, it made facing all the other things a little bit easier, I assume.

Andrea: It did, it made it easier and it made it so I could hear it. That 

makes sense. Like I was to a place where I didn’t need to run from it anymore. I didn’t need to deny it. I didn’t need to sugarcoat it. I didn’t [00:14:00] need it to not be as bad as it was. Right.

Um, for years I had, I had tried to make excuses and minimized and, oh, it’s just stress.

It’s just this, it’s just that. And if we get this kind of help, we did go to different therapy, we did different things. If we get this help, if we do this, then it’ll be fine. And at this point I was able to really see what was happening, see all of it. And it was hard to see, no doubt. But I lost the fear around it because I, I already knew what I was doing. I knew that I needed to go, and so I didn’t need to be so afraid of it anymore because I already had made up my mind. So it’s like, okay, let’s have it.

Dan: So you’re able to take your mess and make it your message,

as they 

Andrea: yep. Absolutely. 

Dan: And as you’ve helped hundreds, maybe thousands of people over the years, what would you say are three things couples listening to this podcast can walk away from to a fair proof their

Andrea: Yeah, such a good question. I would [00:15:00] say Number 

one is a mistake that I see a lot is people that try to prioritize peace over truth.

Dan: Ah,

We wanna be a peacemaker. That’s a very good virtue, but sometimes peace is at the expense of truth and it’s not real peace. It’s an artificial peace.

It’s a propped up peace. ’cause you can only have real peace when it’s rooted in goodness and

Andrea: Yep. We often have mixed messages about this, that, like you said, be the peacemaker, be the peacemaker. And I think for a lot of people, myself included, that read as no conflict, right? You don’t want conflict. No, we don’t want contention, we don’t want fighting. All of those things. 

And ultimately I see where I hurt myself in that.

And where I see couples hurt themselves by holding themselves to, I need to be the peacemaker. And that’s what makes me good and noble and feel good about myself, when in reality, part of really [00:16:00] protecting a marriage is getting to a place where truth becomes the thing that we lead out with. That becomes the priority.

Over peace, over peace. 

That can be like a, a tough thing to swallow coming from cultural teachings and what we make peace mean that that’s the standard. Right. 

truth weighs more. it is more powerful than peace.

Dan: As you’re talking, I’m thinking about that, uh, movie clip from, I think the movie is A Few Good

Men. There’s that

Andrea: You can’t, 

Dan: lawyer scene Uhhuh with Tom Cruise. It’s like, we just want the truth. You

can’t handle 

Andrea: Yep. Yes. Jack Nicholson. Yes, 100%. Yes, yes, 

Dan: the truth. I don’t wanna

face the truth. And so.

Andrea: yes. 

It’s exactly it. 

Dan: things are okay.

Andrea: Yep. And it goes both ways. It goes both ways, right? 

Because I’ve had couples come to me where, where one of them has been desperately trying to tell the truth, and the [00:17:00] other will not hear it.

They just won’t hear it.

Dan: punish, 

Andrea: Or they totally, totally, yes.

Or they punish them. And I’ve never had anybody come to me and say, so glad I went and was unfaithful. I’ve never had anybody say that. Okay.

But what I have heard is people feeling trapped and not knowing, like really trying to communicate and feeling like it’s falling on deaf ears because the other person can’t tolerate it.

They’re, they, they, they wanna be propped up. They wanna be told that they’re great. They wanna be told that they’re good. And if I’m being honest, like these are questions I’ve had to ask myself about my first marriage and go, where did I not wanna know? Where did I not have a tolerance for hearing things that he was maybe unhappy with?

Ouch. Right? But it’s 

true. And these are things that we need to look at. And so. stop prior prioritizing peace over truth. It’s not just our own truth, it’s also our [00:18:00] partner’s truth and hearing their truth and growing our tolerance to it.

Dan: Mm-hmm. That’s good. What’s your second tip to a fair proof Your marriage?

Andrea: my second tip is to be truthful with yourself first. 

Dan: Okay. 

Andrea: before, before we can be honest with our partners, we have to be able to be honest with ourself. And most affairs don’t start with other people. They start with unresolved pain, unresolved issues within ourself, unresolved, resentments that we just feel trapped in, like we can’t get out of them.

Unacknowledged desires, unmet needs, right? So it’s this piece of not being honest with ourselves about where we’re at and what we want, or how we are even showing up, right? It’s not 

just, it’s not just again, from the other person and some deficiency over there. It’s often things that we have to be able to look at ourselves with and see [00:19:00] and hold up a, a mirror and go.

Okay, this is how I’m showing up here. this is my part in this. And being able to tell ourselves the truth and when we, can grow our capacity to be honest with ourself and to look at the parts of things that are scary within ourselves and the parts that are scary in our marriage that are like.

Well, that’s off limits because if I actually look at that, it means I might have to do something with it. And I don’t want to, 

when we grow our ability to do this, we don’t need to go outside of our relationship for some other thing to rescue us. We are able to see what it is within ourselves and stand up for it.

Dan: can you gimme an example of that in your own life?

Andrea: I’ll give you an example in my current marriage. Okay. So, we came from different backgrounds, right? He was married, we were married the same amount of time, but she was sick for half the marriage with cancer. And in the other half of the marriage they were having a bunch of kids.

And I moved into this [00:20:00] town. it was a, a town of 1200 people 

and her parents lived in the same community. Everyone knew her. And I came in there with this outward facing desires. Okay. Like outward, like if you, if I, if I’m validated in this way, then I will feel okay if I’m made to feel like I’m good enough, like I belong here, like these kids want me to be here, things like that.

I was in so much pain because I kept looking outside of me to solve something that was always mine. It was always something inside me that hadn’t been healed yet 

from my first marriage, and I was making him wrong for it. Okay, so with this piece of telling yourself the, the, the, the truth first, what I learned and what to this day that I put to practice all the time is if there’s a part of me that goes into blame.

That goes into, resentment that it’s like, you should be showing up in a different way. You should be doing this differently. Then I’m able to go [00:21:00] inside and go, Andrea, what is it here that you’re actually trying to achieve? What is it that you think you want? What is it that you think you need?

Have you communicated that have, how well have you spoken up for that and it, and where is this coming from in you? Right? Is this coming from strength in you that you’re really standing up for more? 

like from a, really strong place in you, or is this coming from, from lack in you and looking for somebody else to fill this?

And so, in my own current marriage, we’ve been through some hard years of, of learning what it is to take care of ourselves in a way. Like to stand on our own. And then from that place. Lead out in, in telling the truth and asking for the things that we want, and being able to receive the things that the partner has to offer that maybe we couldn’t have before.

Dan: And if we’re better at doing that process, we’re less likely to justify an affair

or

or [00:22:00] some other form of infidelity because it’s, it’s often like, affairs can be done ’cause it’s convenient and it’s a way, I don’t know, out of anger sometimes,

or or blame or it’s ’cause I’m so hurt, I need to go over here to supposedly get this need met when it’ll never fill your need

Andrea: Yeah. 

Dan: It’s not outside of you, it’s within you.

That’s really good.

Andrea: Yep. 100%. 

Dan: skill. That

takes a lot of emotional maturity, don’t you think?

Andrea: It does. It’s, it’s everything. It takes so 

much emotional maturity because really what we’re talking about here is affairs are, they’re an escape, right? They’re, I can’t, deal with what’s here, it’s too much, or I need to feel something else. I don’t know 

how to handle this. And there’s this thing over here that feels different and feels better, and it’s a complete escape and avoidance of looking at what is here and facing it.

Then 

the problem is then we’re then piling on so much more hurt, so much more pain. And so when we can grow our own ability [00:23:00] to tell the truth and trust that we’re with somebody who’s willing to say the hard things and that we’re with somebody who can hear the hard things, there’s no need to go outside.

Right? 

We, it’s like we wouldn’t touch it with a 10 foot pole. We won’t because there’s, we’re too honest with ourselves to allow that in.

Dan: Yeah, that’s good. All right. What’s your third tip To a fair proof Your marriage.

Andrea: All right. My third tip is creating a relationship where desire can breathe, and I’ll tell you a little bit more about what that means. So,

one of the things that I, that I believe in the most and teach all day long in my, in my coaching program is that. Desire is a God-given thing that we have, that it’s not like a carrot that’s dangling out in front of us of something that is like a teaser that we can’t ever really have.

Right?

Dan: Uh

Andrea: And so many of us starting from really early ages [00:24:00] learn to just stay with what’s comfortable. As a way of, of feeling safe, right? Like this is good 

enough, it’s good enough, it’s comfortable. I don’t need to rock the boat. And sometimes we go numb, like completely numb. And in marriages, right? Where so much suppressed everything, suppressed truth telling, suppressed emotions, suppressed sexuality, suppressed all the things that it can go numb.

When we can, create a relationship, first of all with ourselves and then with our partners, where where we are letting desire lead out 

Dan: Uh 

Andrea: the spark returns and we feel alive again. And so an example of that is when I have my clients who, who recognize, I really want the kind of marriage where where we talk about things, where we actually verbalize where we’re not just buddies that just sit and watch a show together. We actually go deeper. We talk about things and my work with them and, and what I [00:25:00] believe about desire is that part of the reason it’s there is to be our guide in saying, because you want this thing, you’re meant to have it, and your growth is becoming the person that has it.

Right. 

That’s your, that’s your path is becoming the person who has that thing. If we’re in a relationship where there is room for both people, where both people can have desires, where both people can, where there’s safety for that, where we are able to freely talk about the things that we want and then work together to be on this path to creating it together.

There’s so much richness in that there’s so much love and care and nurturing and safety that is in that, that

again. the likelihood of somebody being willing to step out of that and, you know, really destroy that. It becomes very small, very small when there’s room for both people and when [00:26:00] both people grow their ability to, be able to acknowledge what their desires are.

And then speak up for them and then grow with each other to be able to help create them. It’s pretty, it’s pretty magical.

Dan: You are getting a little emotional here. What? What’s coming up for you in this?

Andrea: Oh, I’m, I’m, I’m good. I, I just, I’m passionate about it. I just am passionate about it that, you know, so many of the, the people that I work with, it’s heartbreaking to see when I ask questions of. Of who they are, of what they want, of what they want their life to be, and they don’t remember the last time they even asked themselves that they don’t know.

Dan: Right. They’ve suppressed the ability to desire

Andrea: Yep. It’s just 

Dan: thinking that being wantless and needless is virtuous, but it. It stunts our

growth. This is probably, some people might think I’m really vain for saying this, but I, I created a, a goal poster, like a vision [00:27:00] board years ago, and I even dared to put a dream car on that

Andrea: I love it. 

Dan: Right. And then I, I. Years later, I had enough money I could buy it with cash. The whole thing, like without financing, that was, that was the goal, but, and it felt so guilty a month before I was about to buy it because I also thought. I shouldn’t want things. There’s so many starving kids in Africa. Wouldn’t that money be better there?

And it is. It’s not a need. It’s really a want. But I gotta tell you, once I really wrapped my mind around it’s okay to want it, it, I grew, I grew an inch that day because. If by wanting things, it puts myself out there. I learn how to, I increase my skill, my abilities, I become more alive.

Right? And

so that’s what you’re talking about

to fair proof your marriage.

You need a relationship where both people feel like they can really step into and become their best [00:28:00] version themselves. A, a allowing want and desire to flourish

Andrea: Yeah. Yep. and 

and on the flip side, a, a problem that happens, I actually just used this analogy inside my group yesterday, was. How we think. We just want the thing, right? You just want 

the car. We just want the marriage to be to look like this, right? And sometimes when we have it and we haven’t done the work to hold it, we will self-sabotage.

And the example I used was around 

people who win the lottery. Statistically speaking, people who win the lottery don’t hold onto it. 

And often 

Dan: worse off. Uh, 

Andrea: worse off and their relationships are damaged and all kinds of things, right? Like it’s really damaged their life. And many people say, I wish I never would’ve won.

Why? Because they, they miss the part where they become the person that can hold it,

Right. 

They, they miss that part. And so it’s not, it’s not about. This arriving at this thing and [00:29:00] saying, here I am. We’ve landed. We’re good. It’s about becoming the person that can hold it. The person who can receive, who can receive love, who doesn’t self-sabotage, right?

And, and push it away. People who can open their hearts to give that love and hold their fear around giving love, knowing I could get hurt, especially in my world when I’m working with people who have been hurt, right?

Dan: Yeah. Yeah. That is so good. It reminds me of Jesus’s parable, of the, the talents with the three servants.

He gives 1, 5, 3, and one,

and it’s about your capacity. You demonstrate capacity with your ability to grow and, and desire is such an important part of that.

I never would’ve connected that with creating an a affair proof marriage, but I can see where the flip side of being small and living small just because there, it’s, it’s a suffocating marriage. There’s not,

there’s not room for that to stay in that way.

Andrea: yep.

yep. And to take it one [00:30:00] step further, like if they, if we think it’s the money, like back to that 

Dan: yeah, yeah. Yeah. 

Andrea: if we think it’s the money, that’s the quick fix that’s gonna fix everything. And for many people, they think that being in this relationship or flirting with this person or doing this over here is gonna be the thing that’s gonna fix it.

It never is. It never is 

because it goes right over the part where we actually grow into. Yes. That part. Yes. It just skips right over it. Right. Goes around it and there’s no shortcut, but there absolutely is a way through. 

100%. There’s a way through.

Dan: It may not be pretty, but there is a way through.

Andrea: Yep. 

Dan: great. Andrea, these three tips you gave are awesome for a fair proof in your marriage. What if someone listening to this is currently experiencing some sort of infidelity, even if it’s just to a small degree, to something like a big crisis they’re facing? What would you say to them?

Andrea: [00:31:00] I would say to them that. While I wish that I had a magic wand and could say, you do these things and you’ll never experience infidelity again. You’ll never get your heart broken. Anything like that? I wish I could say that. Okay.

In reality, humans, human right, humans make human decisions. But what I can say is that we have far more control than we think We do 

We do not have to sit by and be victims to the things going on around us and just hope that that other shoe doesn’t drop right. When 

we, the thing with the three different pieces here, the, the first principle stop prioritizing piece over truth number two, being telling yourself the the truth.

First, being open to looking inward first. Number three, create a relationship where desire can breathe. Okay? The beautiful thing about all of these is all of them require us. To show up 

in a way that maybe we haven’t before. It requires a lot of growth internally, and that gets to come with you no matter the [00:32:00] outcome.

It gets to come with you, and yeah, you’re increasing the odds that infidelity is not gonna be a thing, but you’re more importantly is that you are strengthening yourself and living way more honestly within yourself than you ever have been, and you get to take that with you.

Dan: That is so good. Thank you.

Where can people go to learn more about you and what you do?

Andrea: Sure. So, I am the host of a podcast of my own, it’s called Heal From Infidelity. There’s lots of episodes there that you can go listen to. You can go find me on social media at Instagram, the infidelity coach. Facebook, just under my name, Andrea Giles coaching. My website is Andrea Giles. a lot of people find me make their way to my world through my podcast ’cause they’re, it’s a, it’s a nice way to get to know me and what I stand for and how I help my people in a way that can feel kind of private.

Dan: Mm-hmm.

Andrea: And that’s probably the best [00:33:00] ways to find me.

Dan: Very good. Thank you very much.

Andrea: You bet. Thank you. Thanks so much for having me. 

Dan Purcell: Thank you for listening to this episode, please share it along with our apps and timidly us. And just between us with their married friends. I promise they will thank you for life. If you want a more meaningful sexual and intimate connection in your marriage, I invite you to check out my, get your marriage on program. 

Over a hundred couples have said this program packs tremendous value and has helped their intimacy grow to the next level. Now go get your marriage on. 

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<h3>Dan Purcell</h3>

Dan Purcell

Dan and his wife Emily Purcell are the founders of Get Your Marriage On! They are on a mission to strengthen marriages by making lovemaking incredibly fun and deeply connecting. Dan is a sex coach. They are also the creators of the popular Intimately Us and Just Between Us apps that have been downloaded over 750,000 times. They are the host of the popular Get Your Marriage On! podcast with over 1 million listens. In addition to their coaching program, they host romantic retreat getaways for couples, and put on workshops on how to have a great sex life and deeper intimacy. Dan and Emily met in middle school and have been married for over 20 years and have 6 kids. Dan loves cracking dad jokes, running marathons, planning the next creative date night with his sweetheart, and enjoys the magnificent outdoors around their St George home.

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