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For years, I asked my wife to initiate sex more often because I wanted to feel chosen and desired. Instead, my requests created pressure, scorekeeping, and a cycle that made genuine desire even harder. In this episode, I explain why I stopped asking, what I misunderstood about responsive desire, and how shifting from initiating sex to initiating connection transformed our intimate relationship. We’ll talk about desire discrepancies, obligation sex, sexual entitlement, emotional connection, and how to express what you want without treating your spouse’s body—or desire—as something you’re owed. Resources: Couples Retreat Waitlist Men’s and Women’s Only Coaching  Spark’d App Intimately Us App Transcript This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors or inaccuracies. For the most accurate and complete experience, we recommend listening to the full podcast episode. Dan: I’m a s*x and intimacy coach for married Christian couples, and I don’t ask my wife to initiate s*x, at least not anymore. Almost every piece of advice out there says to speak up and ask your spouse to want you more. It says express your needs and ask that your needs are met. I followed that advice for years and it made my marriage worse, not better. And