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325: The More You Pursue, the More They Pull Away: Breaking the Intimacy Cycle with Dr. Laurie Watson

Have you ever felt like the more you pursue your spouse, the further away they get? Maybe you’re asking for more sex, affection, conversation, or quality time. Or maybe you’re the one pulling away because you feel pressured, criticized, or like nothing you do will ever be enough. In this episode, I’m joined by certified sex therapist Dr. Laurie Watson, author of Brave Love, Great Sex. Laurie shares how the pursue-withdraw cycle showed up in her own 40-year marriage—and why the usual “I’ll meet your needs if you meet mine” approach often makes intimacy feel transactional instead of connecting. We talk about how to recognize this cycle, uncover what’s really underneath criticism and withdrawal, and express your needs with vulnerability instead of blame. Laurie also shares practical insights about women’s arousal and pleasure, the connection between emotional and sexual intimacy, and why securely attached couples often have more—and more varied—sex. If you and your spouse keep getting caught in different versions of the same argument, this conversation will help you understand the pattern and begin responding differently. Resources: Laurie’s New Book: Brave Love, Great Sex Couples Retreat Next Level Couples Coaching Our apps Guest: Dr. Laurie Watson Dr. Laurie Watson

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