Want to spice up your love life but don’t know how? Desire, fantasy, and foreplay are natural parts of sexual intimacy. Sharing your desires and fantasies with your spouse is a fulfilling way to brings more passion to your marriage. Join Dan and our Sexpert Dr. Laurie Watson’s to learn more tips on overcoming common difficulties surrounding foreplay, desire, and fantasy!
What We Cover in This Episode
I’m joined by Dr. Laurie Watson—a certified sex therapist, author of Wanting Sex Again, and host of the Foreplay Radio podcast—for a wide-ranging conversation about desire, fantasy, and foreplay. Her big idea up front: spicing things up is wonderful, but the real secret is opening your hearts to each other and staying vulnerable.
We talk about why so many couples have no shared language for sex, and how naming what you want—your body, your desires, your fantasies—feels risky precisely because it’s so vulnerable. Laurie also unpacks how much we learn and bond through touch, lowering stress and raising oxytocin in the process.
One of my favorite moments is when Laurie explains why desire fades. Quoting author Stephen Mitchell, she says desire doesn’t fade—we kill it, quietly protecting ourselves from how much we could lose. Letting yourself truly want your spouse is an act of courage.
Key takeaways
- Spicing things up is great, but vulnerability and open hearts are the deeper key to desire.
- Most couples never built a comfortable language for talking about sex—and that’s learnable.
- Touch is its own language: skin-to-skin connection lowers stress and deepens bonding.
- “Desire doesn’t fade—we kill it.” We downplay our wanting to protect ourselves from loss.
- Sharing a fantasy feels risky because it’s revealing; safety and curiosity make it possible.
If this stirred something, go deeper: explore why desire fades and how to rekindle it, get practical about building desire and arousal, and learn to talk about sex with your spouse so sharing desires feels safe.
Want guidance putting this into practice together? Our Next Level program can help.
Dr. Laurie Watson is a Nationally acclaimed sex therapist, author, blogger, and co-host of the Foreplay Radio podcast.
