This week, our founder Dan Purcell was a guest on Tammy Hill’s podcast Live Your Why giving his best advice for newlyweds.
One of my favorite principles Dan mentioned is authentically showing up as your true self.
Showing Up
Often times when we first meet someone, we are nervous about how they perceive us. We may even show up differently depending on what situation we are in. There is nothing wrong with this necessarily, but when trying to connect with the love of your life (or someone you think could be the love of your life) it is important to bring your whole self along.
This does not mean that you need to tell your date everything about yourself all at once. But it does mean making choices and acting as your authentic self even when we are afraid of our authentic self being rejected.
Dating
When you are still in the dating stage, showing up authentically means being true to yourself. This means being honest about your likes, interests, and hobbies (even if your favorite movie is Legally Blonde). On a deeper level, showing up as your true self means you need to live your life in accordance with your greater purpose. Decide for yourself what your goals in life are, and live accordingly. Set boundaries around intimacy and how you want to spend your time and hold true to those even as you add another person to your life.
Getting Married
In the newlyweds phase, you are working to combine your two lives into one. You are sorting out what to compromise on and where to “stand your ground”. Fall back to your purpose (what Tammy would call your “why”). Remember that you love this person, and when things get tough fall back on those memories of the two of you getting to know each other.
Sex and Intimacy
Sex is the most important place to show up authentically. Paradoxically, it can also be the hardest arena to be yourself, especially as newlyweds! Intimacy is vulnerable, and even with the person we love most it can be scary to put it all out there. However, the best sex is between two spouses who are living completely authentically.
What to know how? Listen to Dan’s conversation with Tammy Hill about Sexual Playfulness on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
