How to Choose a Marriage Coach You Can Trust

I’m going to do something a little unusual for a marriage coach: be honest with you about the messy parts of my own field.

Quick background so you know I’m not just tossing stones. I founded Get Your Marriage On in 2017 to help Christian couples build stronger, more joyful marriages—with a special focus on sexual intimacy from a faith perspective. Since then I’ve coached hundreds of couples, privately and in groups.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: marriage coaching is almost completely unregulated. That’s not a reason to avoid it—coaching has helped so many of the couples I’ve worked with—but it is a very good reason to choose your coach carefully. So let me walk you through the two biggest challenges in my industry, and exactly how to choose a marriage coach you can actually trust.

The short version: Marriage coaching is largely unregulated—no license is required, so anyone can call themselves a marriage coach. That creates two real risks: coaches drifting outside their scope into territory that belongs to a licensed therapist, and wildly inconsistent quality. The upside is real too: coaching is flexible, faith-friendly, less stigmatized, and growth-focused. To choose well, look for a coach who screens clients and refers out, works under supervision or peer consultation, follows a clear code of ethics, and can point to real training. Here’s what that looks like.

Marriage coaching is (mostly) the “wild west”

Let’s start with the big one: there is no statutory licensing or registration requirement for coaches in any U.S. state (Williams, 2005). Anyone can legally hang out a shingle and call themselves a marriage coach—no degree, no supervised hours, no exam. One analysis published in an American Psychological Association journal literally called the coaching field the “wild west” (Vandaveer et al., 2016).

Compare that to a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, who has to earn a master’s degree from an accredited program and log thousands of supervised clinical hours before practicing. Coaches have no equivalent bar to clear. (Not sure whether you even need a coach, a counselor, or a social worker? Here’s how the three compare.)

Independent bodies like the International Coaching Federation have stepped in to offer credentials and codes of ethics (Williams, 2005). That’s genuinely helpful—but here’s the catch: certification is voluntary, and these organizations only have authority over their own members. If a coach isn’t a member, an ethics violation isn’t enforceable by anyone (Bachkirova et al., 2020). In practice, that leaves the job of vetting a coach largely up to you.

Where does coaching end and therapy begin?

The second challenge is subtler: the line between coaching and therapy is genuinely blurry. Coaching is about enrichment, goals, and solutions; therapy is about diagnosing and treating clinical issues (Caspi, 2005). Clean enough on paper—but holding that boundary in real life is hard (Caspi, 2005; Myers & Bachkirova, 2021). I dig into that distinction more in my post on marriage coaching vs. therapy.

Part of what blurs the line is demand. Some people specifically choose coaching to sidestep the mental-health system—no diagnosis, no insurance hoops, less stigma (Caspi, 2005). Sometimes therapists even drop their license or offer both services at once, which muddies things further.

And the stakes aren’t hypothetical. A high-profile Utah case involving life coach Jodi Hildebrandt and her business partner Ruby Franke helped push state lawmakers to crack down on coaches who blur legal and ethical lines by handling mental-health problems without a license (Schriefels, 2025). When someone unqualified wades into clinical territory, people can get seriously hurt.

The fix isn’t to avoid coaching—it’s for coaches to lean on established ethical frameworks, get regular supervision, and exercise constant judgment about where their scope ends (Myers & Bachkirova, 2021).

The upside of a lightly regulated field

In fairness, the lack of heavy regulation isn’t all bad. Because coaching sits outside state licensing, a coach can work with couples across state and even international lines without legal trouble (Williams, 2005). That means you can find someone who fits your faith, your budget, and your schedule—even if they’re nowhere near you.

Coaching also carries far less stigma than “therapy” for a lot of people. Traditional clinical care often has to attach a diagnosis to justify treatment, and that label keeps some folks from ever reaching out (Jordan & Livingstone, 2013). Coaching flips the frame: instead of “what’s wrong with you,” it asks “where do you want to grow?” For couples who don’t see themselves as sick—just wanting to get better—that growth-oriented posture is really appealing.

It’s also naturally preventative. A lot of coaching helps couples build skills long before a crisis ever shows up—that’s the whole idea behind programs like SYMBIS (Save Your Marriage Before It Starts).

How to choose a marriage coach you can trust

So how do you find a good one in an unregulated market? Here’s what I’d look for—and, since it’s only fair to hold me to my own standard, how my team and I try to live it out.

• They screen clients and stay in their lane. A good coach only takes on high-functioning couples and refers out when something clinical shows up. My graduate training in a Marriage and Family Therapy program (plus a lot of self-study) helps me recognize the signs that a couple needs a licensed therapist instead—and I refer out when they do.
• They don’t work in isolation. Accountability matters. I coach alongside other coaches at GYMO, which gives us peer consultation, supervision, and a built-in check on our blind spots.
• They follow a real code of ethics. My team voluntarily follows the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy’s Code of Ethics—so we keep records confidential, avoid dual relationships, work hard to do no harm, and stay committed to competence and ongoing improvement.
• They can show real training. Ask what they’ve actually done to prepare. I completed a six-month coaching and supervision program in 2022, followed immediately by a six-month training program, and I keep attending seminars and practicums on marriage-therapy theory and how to apply it ethically in a coaching context.
• They keep growing. I run a peer consultation group that meets regularly to review cases, talk through ethical questions, and keep our skills sharp.

None of that is required by law. That’s exactly the point—the best coaches choose to hold themselves to a higher standard than the law demands. If a coach can’t answer these questions clearly, take it as your signal to keep looking.

The bottom line

Marriage coaching can be genuinely life-giving—I’ve watched it transform couples’ relationships. But because the field is unregulated, the responsibility to choose well lands on you. Ask the hard questions, look for clear boundaries and real training, and don’t settle for vague answers.

If you’d like to see how we approach this work, here’s a closer look at our sex and intimacy coaching—including how we keep it safe, ethical, and rooted in a Christian worldview. When you’re ready to begin, explore our Next Level program or private coaching. And if faith and intimacy is the specific thing you’re wrestling with, start with our guide to faith and a God-honoring sex life.

Frequently Asked Questions

References

Abreu-Afonso, J., Ramos, M. M., Queiroz-Garcia, I., & Leal, I. (2022). How couple’s relationship lasts over time: A model for marital satisfaction. Psychological Reports, 125(3), 1601–1627. https://doi.org/10.1177/00332941211000651

American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. (n.d.). Code of ethics. https://www.aamft.org/web/Action-Advocacy/Code-of-Ethics-New.aspx

Bachkirova, T., Jackson, P., Hennig, C., & Moral, M. (2020). Supervision in coaching: Systematic literature review. International Coaching Psychology Review, 15(2), 31–53. https://doi.org/10.53841/bpsicpr.2020.15.2.31

Caspi, J. (2005). Coaching and social work: Challenges and concerns. Social Work, 50(4), 359–362. https://doi.org/10.1093/sw/50.4.359

Jordan, M., & Livingstone, J. B. (2013). Coaching vs psychotherapy in health and wellness: Overlap, dissimilarities, and the potential for collaboration. Global Advances in Health and Medicine, 2(4), 20–27. https://doi.org/10.7453/gahmj.2013.036

Myers, A., & Bachkirova, T. (2021). Boundaries and best practice. Introduction to Coaching Psychology, 141–158. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315222981-10-18

Schriefels, J. (2025). New Utah law seeks to crack down on life coaches offering therapy without a license. ProPublica / The Salt Lake Tribune. https://www.propublica.org/article/utah-life-coaches-mental-health-therapy-law

Vandaveer, V. V., Lowman, R. L., Pearlman, K., & Brannick, J. P. (2016). A practice analysis of coaching psychology: Toward a foundational competency model. Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research, 68(2), 118–142. https://doi.org/10.1037/cpb0000057

Williams, P. (2005). The coaching profession grows up: Ethical and legal issues in coaching. Center for Credentialing and Education (CCE), 1–15. https://www.cce-global.org/Assets/BCC/Resources/TheCoachingProfessionGrowsUp.pdf