Communication and marriage is a big deal. And many couples tell me they wish their communication was better. Many men approach intimacy in marriage differently than women do, and each person in the marriage has their own fears and insecurities as well. And in fact, I think it’s the way we deal with our insecurities or how we manage them, that often triggers the fears or insecurities or vulnerabilities in the other person.
And what this does is it sets off this reactive cycle. We try to cover our insecurities. We say something that triggers our spouse and what they say triggers our vulnerability and round and round it goes, and often what’s said isn’t the same as the message that was received, which opens up the doors to more hurt feelings and misunderstandings.
I met today’s guest through one of my team members that has participated in her excellent mentorship program. Her name is Ramona Zabriskie. And she’s spent the last decade of her life dedicated to helping women succeed in their marriages. She’s a mentor to hundreds of wives, and she’s full of all this folksy wisdom, like what you’ll get to hear today, like “Five Lies We Tell Brides” and Teaching “Knights to Knit.”
In today’s episode, you’ll get to meet Ramona’s five Crazy Ladies (and I’m wondering which one you relate to the most!), we talk about why husbands and wives don’t listen to each other, and most importantly, you’ll hear what Ramona believes are the steps to building not only just a good or great marriage, but a grand marriage as well.
What We Cover in This Episode
Communication breaks down in marriage when we each manage our own insecurities in ways that quietly trigger our spouse—setting off a reactive cycle where what’s said and what’s heard drift further apart. In this conversation, mentor Ramona Zabriskie shares the hard-won wisdom of 45 years of marriage (including her own near-divorce) and decades mentoring wives in over 70 countries. We talk about her “Five Crazy Ladies,” why husbands and wives stop listening, and the path from a good marriage to a great one—and finally to a “grand” marriage built on equal, reciprocal partnership.
Key takeaways
- Much of our conflict starts with how we cover our own insecurities, not with our spouse’s behavior.
- The reactive cycle thrives on the gap between what’s said and what’s heard.
- Ramona’s “Five Crazy Ladies” help you spot the patterns you fall into under stress.
- A “grand” marriage grows from treating each other as equal, reciprocal partners.
- Real, lasting growth tends to come through mentorship and modeling, not just information.
To go deeper, build your emotional intimacy, learn to calm the reactivity by becoming a more secure, settled partner, and practice the skills to talk openly about sex and connection.
If you’d like personal guidance turning these ideas into a stronger, closer marriage, our Next Level program is here to help.
