My mission has always been to help married couples find joy, inspiration, and fun in their sexual relationship!
Everything I do, from the podcast to coaching to our apps, comes back to that mission. And today I’m thrilled to share the biggest step toward it yet. The all-new Intimately Us app is here!
We rebuilt it from the ground up. If you’ve used Intimately Us before, you’ll recognize the things you loved. But the way the app thinks about your sex life has changed, and I want to walk you through why.
What’s new in the Intimately Us app?
Here’s a quick look at the biggest changes:
- A smarter calendar that makes it easier to plan intimate time, record it, and see your intimacy cycle (with better menstrual cycle tracking, too).
- Make A Move, which replaces the Daily Intimacy Challenge with personalized nudges for both of you.
- The Sexploration List and Intimacy Style Quiz, which help the app learn your couple dynamic.
- The Intimacy Menu, a custom menu of ideas generated for the two of you every week or so.
- An upgraded Playground with all the sexy bedroom games you loved.
- Dare Your Spouse, a playful new way to send your spouse a dare.
Why should married couples plan for intimacy?
I used to believe the best sex was spontaneous sex. Most of us, husbands and wives, grew up believing that if you have to plan it, something must be wrong.
The research says otherwise. In a 2025 study, researchers encouraged parents of young children to see the value in planning sex and to give it a try. Compared to a group who kept their usual routines, those couples had about 28% more sex and reported higher sexual desire.[1]
It’s ironic: the thing we assume kills the mood actually helps create it. When couples who had learned to value planning did plan sex, their satisfaction stayed high, and planned sex was linked to greater relationship satisfaction.[1]
That’s because planning creates anticipation, and anticipation is a bridge to desire. (I talk a lot more about this in my guide to desire in marriage.)
So we built the new Intimately Us around that idea. The app makes it easier to plan for intimate connection, and then to record it afterward.
How does the new intimacy calendar work?
The calendar got a major upgrade. It’s now one shared calendar for both of you, so you’re always looking at the same picture together.
You can plan time for intimate connection, then record more details about it than ever before. You can even create your own custom tags to go along with each entry!
Over time, you’ll get a much clearer picture of your intimacy cycle. Not as a scorecard, but as a story the two of you are writing together.
We also improved menstrual cycle tracking. We treat the cycle as something you navigate together as a couple, so the app can adjust its suggestions on the days when connecting matters most.
What happened to the Daily Intimacy Challenge?
The Daily Intimacy Challenge has been retired. In its place is something I’m really excited about, called Make A Move.
Here’s the philosophy change. A daily challenge can start to feel like homework, and obligation is the opposite of desire. Instead, Make A Move works with the natural rhythm couples already follow in their intimate life.
That rhythm has five stages, and then the cycle repeats:
- Connect – feeling close and emotionally in tune with each other.
- Plan – setting aside time for intimacy.
- Anticipate – building excitement for what’s coming.
- Play – enjoying your time together.
- Savor – soaking in the afterglow and appreciating each other.
The app anticipates which part of the cycle you’re in and suggests a move to both of you. Each move is a small nudge toward the next step in your natural intimacy cycle.
You choose the mood (Sweet, Flirty, or Spicy) and the app reveals your move. There’s no checkbox and no pressure. Just a fun idea to try when the moment feels right.
How does Intimately Us personalize suggestions for your marriage?
This is where the new app really gets to know you. Two features do the heavy lifting: the Sexploration List and the Intimacy Style Quiz.
The Sexploration List lets each of you share what you’d love to explore together. The Intimacy Style Quiz reveals how each of you naturally approaches intimacy.
Take both! The more the app learns about your couple dynamic, the more it tailors its suggestions specifically to the two of you.
Better yet, use your answers as a conversation starter. If talking about sex feels awkward, my guide to sexual communication in marriage can help.
What is the Intimacy Menu?
The Intimacy Menu is brand new, and it’s one of my favorite features.
Every week or so, the app generates a custom Intimacy Menu for the two of you, complete with appetizers, mains, sides, and desserts. It’s full of ideas the app thinks you’ll both enjoy.
Don’t love something on the menu? You can customize it. Swap items out and make it your own.
The menu is built to support your Play time. Instead of wondering “what should we do tonight?”, you have a full course of ideas ready to go.
What’s in the new Playground?
Speaking of Play, the Playground got a major upgrade.
All the sexy bedroom games you loved in the previous app are here in the new app. Your Intimacy Menu sits right at the top, so it’s easy to jump from an idea into a game, a new position, or something you’ve never tried before.
Looking for even more inspiration? Check out my ideas to spice up your sex life.
What is Dare Your Spouse?
Dare Your Spouse is a brand new feature that lets you send your spouse a dare.
Your spouse can choose to accept it, pass on it, or counter with a dare of their own!
Passing is always okay. The goal is playfulness, not pressure. But I’ll warn you now: the counter-dare can get competitive in the best possible way. 😉
Common Questions About the New Intimately Us App
Intimately Us is an app for married couples who want more joy, inspiration, and fun in their sex life. It includes a shared intimacy calendar, personalized Make A Move suggestions, the Sexploration List and Intimacy Style Quiz, a weekly Intimacy Menu, bedroom games in the Playground, and Dare Your Spouse.
The Daily Intimacy Challenge was replaced by Make A Move. Instead of a daily task to complete, Make A Move recognizes where you are in your natural intimacy cycle (connect, plan, anticipate, play, savor) and suggests a small move to nudge you toward the next step.
Not according to research. A 2025 study in The Journal of Sex Research found that parents of young children who were encouraged to value and try planned sex had about 28% more sex and reported higher sexual desire than a comparison group. Planning builds anticipation, and anticipation helps create desire.
The app is designed for both of you, and features like Dare Your Spouse, the shared calendar, and personalized suggestions work best when you’re connected. You can still start on your own and invite your spouse when you’re ready.
Yes. Scripture describes sex as a good gift within marriage and encourages spouses not to neglect one another but to come together regularly (1 Corinthians 7:3-5). Intentionally planning time for intimacy, and using tools that help you enjoy each other more, is a way of honoring that gift and caring for your marriage.
How do you get the new Intimately Us app?
If you already have Intimately Us, update to the newest version. If you’re new, you can download Intimately Us here.
Then invite your spouse, take the Sexploration List and Intimacy Style Quiz together, and open up your first Intimacy Menu.
I can’t wait for you to try it. Thank you for reading. Now go get your marriage on!
References
[1] Kovacevic, K., Smith, O., Fitzpatrick, D., & Rosen, N. O. (2025). Can shifting beliefs about planned sex lead to engaging in more frequent sex and higher desire and satisfaction? An experimental study of parents with young children. The Journal of Sex Research. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2025.2585377
