Oral sex is one of the most powerful ways to bring your wife pleasure—and deepen your intimacy. In this episode, we share 12 practical, respectful, and fun tips to help husbands confidently and lovingly master cunnilingus. You’ll learn what works, what to avoid, and how to create unforgettable, connected experiences in the bedroom.
Whether you’re new to this or want to up your game, this episode is for you.
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Transcript
This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors or inaccuracies. For the most accurate and complete experience, we recommend listening to the full podcast episode.
Episode 252
Intro
Dan: Anatomically speaking, intercourse isn’t the best route for her to receive sexual pleasure from you. However, when you master Lingus as the loving gift of intimate pleasure that it can be, you’re giving your wife the direct attention her body was designed to receive.
Oh yeah. This podcast episode is gonna be so much fun. Real quick husbands, here’s a stat that might blow your mind. 82% of married women rank Lingus. That’s oral sex done on a woman as the most enjoyable sexual act, and they reach orgasm reliably at 81% of [00:01:00] the time during oral sex compared to only 25% of the time during intercourse.
So in this podcast episode. I’m gonna give you husbands 12 practical tips that will transform you from an amateur to an expert when it comes to going down and pleasuring your wife. So by the end of this episode, you’ll know exactly how to give her incredible experiences designed to bring both of you closer together intimately. Before we dive into my 12 tips and techniques, let’s talk about why this is so important. Did you know that the clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings that’s twice as many as an entire penis, and unlike the penis, the clitoris is an organ designed solely for just one purpose to give her pleasure. When I was younger, I used to think that a woman’s sexual center was her vagina.
After all, army taught that boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. It is true that girls do indeed have a vagina, but her sexual pleasure center is actually her [00:02:00] clitoris, and that is why this is such an important fact to understand. Intercourse with its seesaw motion of the in and out of the vagina largely misses her clitoris, her sexual center.
This also explains why most women need direct clitoral stimulation in order to reach orgasm, and why oral sex is one of the best ways to do it. It’s not about more girth or length from you. Anatomically speaking, intercourse isn’t the best route for her to receive sexual pleasure from you. However, when you master Lingus as the loving gift of intimate pleasure that it can be, you’re giving your wife the direct attention her body was designed to receive.
Plus, it allows her to be the complete center of attention, which for most women is a very welcome mini vacation for the many responsibilities she already carries. So just let her lie back and let her enjoy receiving loving pleasure from you.
Clinical Term
Dan: The clinical term for going down on her is called Lingus. [00:03:00] It’s Latin for using your tongue on her labia. True to my style. I’ll keep this as clean as possible and use clinical terms for anatomy and so on going forward.
Alright, ready to dive into our 12 tips to up your Cunnilingus game. let’s go.
#1
Dan: Tip number one, never go straight for the clitoris at first. This is the biggest mistake I see men make. Never spread her legs and immediately start working at her clitoris. Start on the outer areas first. Her inner thighs around the vulva, the outer lips build anticipation slowly. Take her time and enjoy warming her up.
#2
Dan: Okay. Tip number two, master the art of teasing. Make it about the slow build rather than rushing to the finish line as she gets more warmed up, kiss and look everywhere around her vulva except her clitoris. The anticipation will drive her wild and make the eventual contact incredibly intense and wonderful and [00:04:00] welcome.
#3
Dan: Tip number three. You can use the alphabet technique. Some men wonder what they’re supposed to be doing with their tongue. Really many women don’t like a predictable pattern, at least not at first. So a fun way to switch it up is to write the letters of the alphabet on her clitoris with your tongue. This gives you a variety of stroke patterns and helps you keep things interesting.
Mix up the pressure and speed as you go through each letter.
#4
Dan: Tip number four, maintain your rhythm as she heats up. When she moans with pleasure. That is not your cue to speed up or go harder or go more intense. Most of the time that moan means
keep doing exactly what you’re doing.
Don’t stop.
Consistency is so key. And when you find a rhythm that works, stick with it. And as most women can attest, consistency matters most when she gets closer to climax.
Tip number five, try the perpendicular approach. Here’s a [00:05:00] position idea that many couples like instead of positioning herself between her legs.
Live perpendicular to her body, making like a T shape. Have her put one leg over your arm or back. And this gives you a completely different angle where your more side to side than up and down with your tongue, if you know what I mean. And this relative change in anatomy orientation can be a game changer for a lot of couples.
#6
Dan: Tip number six, use your fingers too. Her clitoris extends deep within her pelvic region, so you can stimulate the backside of her clitoris by inserting a finger two into her vagina while your mouth focuses on her clitoris.
And this way she gets the best of both worlds double stimulation, one directly on her clitoris and the other deep inside of her. Which can feel really good. So when you insert your finger, you just don’t leave it there. Use like a come hitter gesture with your fingers and apply gentle pressure and rhythm on the front [00:06:00] wall or the belly button side of her vagina wall
#7
Dan: tip number seven, master the face sitting position.
If you’re the type where your neck gets sore, try this position instead, lay on your back and invite her to kneel over you with her knees on either side of your head.
This might be most comfortable to do near the head of the bed where she can use the headboard of the bed at, you know, grab it with her arms for additional support. This position has another added advantage. It puts her in control of the pressure and movement while giving your neck a break. Many women love the feeling of control that this position provides.
#8
Dan: Tip number eight, incorporate edging. Edging is the skill of bringing someone close to climax, but then backing off right beforehand and then slowly building up the anticipation again, repeated over and over, and as you sensor getting close to orgasm. Back off the direct stimulation and then focus on other areas of her body, then go back at [00:07:00] it.
Repeat this several times. When she finally does go over the edge, the orgasm will be much stronger and longer because of all that buildup.
#9
Dan: Tip number nine, don’t forget the rest of her body. When her mouth is busy, use her hands on her breasts, inner her thighs, or anywhere else she enjoys being touched or caressed.
This creates a full body experience rather than just focused stimulation. And also don’t forget to make eye contact. That can be super intimate too.
#10
Dan: My tip number 10 is to try temperature play. You can suck on an ice cube, you know a little bit before making contact. Or you can try a little menthol cough drop and be careful.
Not too much ’cause she’s really sensitive there. Or you can warm your mouth from a steaming cup of tea or something and alternate this hot and cold sensation on her. If you wish the temperature contrast could create some really fun sensations.
Tip number 11, use your breath, [00:08:00] pull away occasionally and lightly.
Breathe on our vulva while using your fingers. your warm breath, combined with the coolness of when you pull away, creates some amazing sensations.
#12
Dan: And now for my 12th and final tip, talk to her at least when your mouth isn’t busy, right, communication is key. Ask her to guide you, but be careful not to expect her to direct everything like an air traffic controller. She wants to sit backs and relax. Remember not to have to guide your every move. That being said, encourage her to give you feedback.
Tell her how much you love doing this for her. Tell her you have all the time in the world and you don’t care how long she, takes. There is no rush. Make it clear that this isn’t a chore. Also, make it clear that you’re not doing this with an agenda so that she’ll be obliged to return the favor in some other way.
You just wanna make it genuine that you genuinely enjoy pledging her in this way.
hi, Dan here and thank you for listening to this episode. Let me interrupt real quick and ask you, are you interested in taking the [00:09:00] intimate relationship in your marriage to the next level? We have a program designed just for that. It’s actually designed for couples who are in otherwise great marriages, but wish things were better when it came to sexual intimacy.
It has helped hundreds of couples already. It’s a real deep dive into intimacy, and it’s a fantastic and affordable program. It’s really hands-on. It’s personalized to you. And very in depth, and it’s great for couples and your spouse might be hesitant to try it, but I promise, get on a free welcome call with me or one of my team members and just learn to see if this is really a good fit for you to help you with your marriage goals and your intimacy goals.
Because cut your misery short. Have a greater marriage now, and not have to wade through years of difficulty and pain. cut it short. Enjoy what your marriage is intended to have now. so check out the program. You’ll find out on my website. Get your marriage on.com. Thanks. Now back to the show.
Okay. Now that I’ve shared with you the 12 tips, let me give you three [00:10:00] additional playful ways to mix things up a bit. To make your sexy time, way more fun. First, do the message game. Ask her to guess the word or short message you’re writing with your tongue on her body.
This keeps you down there a little longer and adds a little element of playfulness. The second way to mix it up is to hum hum your favorite love song, or let her guess what song you’re humming as you’re going down on her. The Gentle vibrations from your humming can add incredible sensations too. third shower together, try performing oral sex in the shower. You can sit on the floor while she stands, and the warm water and steam can create a essential and relaxing environment. Plus it addresses any hygiene concerns that either of you might have.
All right, my friends, now that you’re on your way to being a pro at Cunnilingus, we’ve talked about 12 tips and three ways to make it playful.
Before I end today, let me share five thoughts of common concerns and mistakes I see a lot of [00:11:00] husbands make so that you can avoid them first. Never do it if you don’t like it. I get it. Not every husband enjoys giving his wife Lingus, and if that’s you, don’t sweat it. It’s not for everyone.
Remember, it doesn’t feel great when others do things for us begrudgingly. So if you can’t get yourself to want to do it, have a conversation with her about it. Nothing is sexier for a woman than being with a man that is thoroughly enjoying being with her. So if you can’t do that, then this might not be for you, and that is totally okay.
Number two, her body’s scent is natural. Vulvas are supposed to smell like vulvas, not lavender. Each woman has a perfume that’s unique to her, so if her scent bothers you, you can ask her to perhaps shower first or use a fragrance free wet wipe or some other way to kind of clean up a little bit first, and it might help also.
Sometimes just trimming her pubic hair short is enough to reduce the strength of [00:12:00] her natural scent.
mistake number three, to avoid is her orgasm is not your project. You want to be with her in this way because you value her as a person and you like the intimacy of the act. This isn’t about reaching a certain goal, like having her have an orgasm or you proving something about yourself. Ego is the enemy when it comes to great sex.
This isn’t about you. This is about her mistake. Number four, to avoid is this isn’t a race. This isn’t about how quickly you can get her to orgasm. It’s about enjoying her and having fun together. And mistake number five to avoid is don’t follow a script. Every woman is different, so pay attention to her responses and don’t ignore her feedback.
If she says she doesn’t like that, don’t do it. If she’s guiding you, follow her lead.
Conclusion
Dan: So in conclusion, remember that becoming great at Kalingas isn’t just about technique. It’s about your mindset and being open-hearted and [00:13:00] loving towards your wife. Approach this with genuine enthusiasm for her pleasure. Show her that you love doing this for her and you’re not doing it to get something in return.
, The research is clear. When wives truly feel desired and cared for, it transforms the entire marriage. You’re not just becoming a better lover, you’re becoming a better husband. Also, having fun with Lingus might be just what your marriage needs to make sexy time. More fun, memorable, pleasurable, and more bonding for the two of you.
Dan: So what did you think? What of these 12 tips are you most excited about? Are there any tips that I left out that you wish I would’ve included? I wanna hear from you. In fact, you can continue this conversation about this podcast episode on our private Facebook group. It’s called Christian Couples Improving Sex and Intimacy in Marriage, and I’ll leave a link for that private Facebook group in the show notes.
And now go get your marriage on.
