I’ve heard it said that issues relating to money are the second leading cause of divorce in America. Although we focus a lot on sexual intimacy on this podcast, with Christmas and the financial stress it brings to marriages right around the corner, I thought addressing how to get on the same page with your spouse regarding money would be a good topic to address.
What We Cover in This Episode
Money is one of the leading sources of conflict in marriage, so I sat down with certified financial coach Ashlee Binderim. She and her husband Dave started married life buried under about a quarter-million dollars of debt while in college—and she’s refreshingly honest about how heavy and isolating that felt.
The heart of our conversation isn’t really budgets—it’s the marriage underneath them. Ashlee is a natural saver and Dave a natural spender, and for years that difference made them feel like adversaries. The turning point came when Dave told her they could get out of debt her way, but they wouldn’t like their marriage at the end of it.
That moment reframed everything: her spouse wasn’t being malicious, just different. We talk about getting on the same page, treating each other as teammates instead of opponents, and why compromise—far from a dirty word—is really two people building one shared life.
Key takeaways
- Financial stress strains the marriage itself, not just the bank account.
- Savers and spenders aren’t being malicious—they’re chasing the same goal in opposite ways.
- “We can do it your way, but we won’t like our marriage at the end” is a wake-up call worth hearing.
- Getting on the same page means seeing each other as teammates, not opponents.
- Compromise is beautiful: two people merging their worlds into one shared life.
Getting on the same page about money is emotional-intimacy work. Strengthen the foundation with our guide to building emotional intimacy, make sure money fights aren’t turning you into roommates instead of lovers, and see the full picture in our complete guide to emotional intimacy.
Want help becoming a stronger team in every area? Our Next Level program is a great next step.
And that’s when I found Ashlee Binderim on Instagram. Ashlee and her husband Dave started their marriage with over $225,000 in debt. They were both working part-time, going to college full time, and barely making ends meet. After years of struggling, they finally figured out how to link arms and tackle financial goals together. Current debt payoff: $162,000 to date! Now, she’s a certified financial coach and on a mission to help other couples reach their goals by getting on the same page with their finances so they can set up a secure future.
