Welcome to this bonus episode of Marriage Undressed, our live Q&A where marriage coach Tammy Camp and I answer real, anonymous questions about sex, intimacy, and marriage.
In this conversation, we talk about what happens when one spouse wants more adventure in the bedroom while the other is satisfied with the way things are. How can you express what you want without making your spouse feel pressured? And how can you honor your differences without treating one spouse as more sexually developed than the other?
We also discuss what to do when you want more physical affection and frequently feel rejected. Your desire for connection matters—but the way you communicate that desire can either invite your spouse closer or leave them feeling criticized and inadequate.
Then we answer some candid questions about oral sex: Is it necessary for a great sex life? What if one spouse wants it and the other doesn’t? And how can you examine the beliefs behind a sexual “no” without pressuring yourself to turn it into a “yes”?
Finally, we discuss rebuilding intimacy after pornography has affected a marriage. When sex has become associated with shame, fear, or obligation, one of the most helpful places to begin is learning how to play together again—both inside and outside the bedroom.
Throughout the episode, Tammy and I return to one central principle: you cannot pressure your spouse into becoming more adventurous, affectionate, or interested in sex. Great intimacy grows when both spouses have the freedom to be honest, make genuine choices, and create a relationship that has room for both of them.
If you’d like to submit your own anonymous question, join us for the next live Marriage Undressed event using the link below.
Also, check out the retreat and the men’s and women’s only groups (starting September 8!):
