Just a couple of weeks ago, my husband and I taught a Sunday school lesson that touched on chastity and lust. Knowing how tender this topic can be, we prayed that God would help us teach with love, truth, and clarity.
We both grew up thinking that any kind of sexual or physical attraction was sinful. That belief led to years of unnecessary shame. But over time, we’ve come to see things differently. Sexual attraction in itself isn’t wrong—it’s a beautiful part of how God created us. If it were inherently sinful, He wouldn’t have designed us with it.
The difference between lust and attraction became clearer as we studied stories like David and Bathsheba. David didn’t sin simply because he noticed Bathsheba’s beauty. His sin came from acting on that desire in a way that went against God’s will and disregarded others’ agency. Lust is ultimately selfish—it uses or pursues something in a way that dishonors God or others.
But healthy, mutual desire within marriage? That’s not lust. That’s sacred. God wants you to be drawn to your spouse. He created sexual feelings as a gift to strengthen and bond husband and wife.
So if you’ve ever felt shame for being attracted to your spouse—or even for noticing beauty—take a moment to ask: “Is this desire selfish, or is it drawing me closer to love, honor, and connection?” Once you understand your feelings more, you can use your agency to choose to move forward with integrity and honor.
You may find you’re not sinning… you’re simply human. And beautifully designed by God.
