Recently, I was working on a project with our founder Dan Purcell. He mentioned something called “Mini Dates” and I thought that sounded like the cutest thing ever. Dan explained that a mini date is some sort of ritual or habit that you create with your spouse that helps you stay connected.
We have mentioned over and over again how important it is to keep dating your spouse. But sometimes, we don’t have a lot of time to go on planned out dates regularly. In our busy lives, it can be really hard to just find the time to be with our spouse. Being intentional about the small bits of time we have together every day can really help build intimacy. Make it a habit to spend at least a little time every day with your spouse.
Here are a few ways simple “mini dates” can help you and your spouse get your marriage on!
- We’re a Team
A husband and wife should be a team; it’s us against the world. Unfortunately, spouses often ended up spending most the day apart from each other. Each has their own to-do list, their own daily routine, and their own worries. Having a habitual time and activity you do together can help remind both partners that they have a teammate. Your mini dates can be a time to shoulder each other’s burdens and remember that we are not in this thing alone.
- Best Friends
Ideally, your spouse is your best friend. This isn’t to say you don’t have other friends but that your spouse is not just one of the many. You married this person because you became friends, and it’s just as important to foster that friendship after getting married. Setting aside time every day to be together will help you continue to strengthen your friendship.
- Forplay All Day, Everyday
Foreplay is so much more than the few moments right before sex. Foreplay is the sexual attitude and environment created by your daily interactions. To create a healthy sexual environment, it’s important to take time to let your spouse know they are appreciated and valued. Mini dates can facilitate silly and/or fun moments together to feel connected to each other’s lives. For more on foreplay, read our post Foreplay All Day Long!
Ideas
Here are some ideas of mini dates you and your spouse can start incorporating into your daily (or weekly) routine. Remember, habits take time and patience to form. However, the reward will be so worth it!
Note: lot’s of these ideas could work on a daily or weekly calendar. Figure out what would work best for your lives and set a goal to implement your mini date ritual today!
1) One Television Show Every Night
For my husband and I, we love watching television shows together. However, it can be so hard to find the time. We have set a goal to finish all of our obligations for the day an hour before bedtime. We then watch one episode of our current show together. This has been such a fun way to relax and just have fun together. I find myself every day getting excited as the time draws closer to put on my pjs and snuggle up with my best friend.
2) 30 Minute Talk Time
Anyone who knows me knows, I love to talk. I love to talk about my current interests, random things I’ve read, or even just celebrity gossip (have you heard the latest about the Don’t Worry Darling cast?!). A daily ritual that has worked for us in the past is simply chatting with each other for a few minutes. We set the qualifier that we aren’t talking about anything stressful in these 30 minutes (or however long you decide you want) and take the time to have fun just chatting!
3) Listen to the Same Podcast/Audiobook
One of the best bonding experiences is learning together. Pick out a podcast or audiobook that you both find interesting. Listen to it together while you make dinner or are cleaning up. Or, listen to it separately throughout the day and set aside some time to talk about what you learned.
4) Snuggle Time
Physical touch (with or without the expectation of sex) is a fantastic way to build intimacy. Snuggling can release hormones in your brain that make you feel good! So make an intentional effort to have comforting physical moments. Go to bed 20 minutes early and snuggle up together. Make it a rule to have a big hug and kiss when you get home in the evening. Hold hands in the car. Choose whatever feels natural to you and intentionally add physical touch to your daily routine.
5) Make Social Media your Friend
Social Media has a pretty bad wrap, and if it’s unhealthy for you skip this idea! However, my husband and I have had a lot of fun unwinding in the evening by scrolling Instagram together. When kept to a reasonable time frame, Social Media can provide humor and new ideas for the two of you to discuss together.
6) Go for Neighborhood Walks
Sometimes, it’s hard to make time for each other at home where all the “stressors” are. So, get out. Go for a little walk around the neighborhood. Talk, don’t talk; hold hands or don’t; but take a quiet moment together for reflection and bonding away from distractions. (Shout out to my parents who set the example with “childfree” nightly walks).
7) Cleaning Dance Party
Maybe you don’t have time every day to just do nothing. Set a timer and clean up together for a few minutes every night (or for longer once a week). Make it fun by turning on some music, and when the timer goes off finish up with a dance party! As an added bonus, you can clean the house naked if you want!
8) “Hard Stuff” talk, then Fun Stuff
Sometimes you have to do the stressful things together. Set aside a certain amount of time to talk about stressful things each night (or each week) and then have a set reward afterwards! Maybe it’s a little treat; maybe it’s watching a television show. Make it a habit of doing the hard and fun things of life together.
9) 1 Hour in Nature
Nature and physical exercise have so many benefits. Take a little time to explore together. Go for walks, hikes, a drive, ride bikes, or whatever you two enjoy together. Whether it’s daily or weekly, take time to make those memories together.
10) Check a Movie Off the List
Plan a weekly ritual of showing each other your favorite movies or media. Create a list of movies/books/tv shows that have meaning to you (from your childhood, something that made you think, or just hit the spot for you). Take turns showing your spouse something you love and slowly make your way through the list.
11) Gospel Study
Studying the gospel together is one of the best ways to connect with your spouse. Take time from your day to put first things first and focus on your top priorities; God and your spouse.
Your day to day habits will eventually define your life, and mini dates will set the foundation of your marriage. Intentionally create a way to connect every day with your spouse in a way that’s authentic to you and your marriage!
Written by Amanda Severson with Get Your Marriage On!
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