Embarking on the journey of marriage often involves a honeymoon, a time for newlyweds to celebrate their union in blissful seclusion. However, not all honeymoons go as smoothly as planned. In fact, some newlyweds find themselves navigating unexpected and sometimes comical challenges during this supposedly romantic period. Here, we’ve gathered a collection of honeymoon “horror” stories and related stories shared by couples who faced everything from unexpected interruptions to unforeseen mishaps.
1. Brawl to Remember:
One couple’s honeymoon took an unexpected turn when a cabin retreat turned into a front-row seat to a late-night brawl.
“We were married young and on a shoestring budget, and rented a cabin for our honeymoon. It was not very private, and while we were attempting to “consummate the marriage,” a brawl broke out between some inebriated individuals just outside our cabin. It sounded like someone was slammed against the outside of our room, and we could hear a female scream, “You’re going to kill him!” It really was a horror story, but we persevered (only mildly distracted by the violent goings-on outside). I guess it wasn’t too traumatizing, because the position from that night is still one of our favorites 😀”
2. Wrong Kind of Spicy:
For another pair of newlyweds, a spicy encounter took an unexpected turn.
“My husband and I were newlyweds at the time and living apart due to the pandemic. When the opportunity to reunite finally came, I was moving to live with him, and we were both thrilled to see each other again.
As soon as we got home from the airport, our excitement got the better of us, and we were ready to get intimate. I had purchased a new lubricant that came highly recommended and promised to spice up our intimate moments.
However, as soon as my husband applied it, it started burning intensely, and we had to stop. Fortunately, it didn’t completely ruin the mood, and we quickly switched to our regular water-based lubricant.
Now, looking back three years later, we can share a good laugh about that unexpected encounter.”
3. Keep the Fires Burning:
A shared bubble bath with rose petals, candles, and champagne set the scene for a romantic evening. However, the ambiance took an unexpected turn.
“What’s not to like about a shared bubble bath with rose petals and soft ambiance of tea light candles and champagne ? We got in our birthday suits and slipped into the svelte scene. “Here’s to us”, we toasted. Within a couple short moments, I smelled something burning….my long hair was on fire!! Amid splashes and laughs we put my fire out!! After 45 years we still laugh about this, and keep other fires burning!”
4. COVID Conundrum:
Getting married in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic presented its own challenges.
“We got married in April 2020, and we spent our wedding night at a 5 star hotel. Almost nobody was at the hotel other than a couple “just married” cars in the parking lot. They must have been bleaching those sheets extra well due to COVID, because we had sores on our elbows and knees and were constantly using Vaseline for the next 3 days!”
5. Valentine’s Day Surprise:
A well-intentioned attempt to spice up Valentine’s Day with a surprise strip tease took an unexpected turn.
“My wife and I had been married for a few years prior to this Valentine’s day gone wrong. We had a fun and exciting sex life but it had not included toys up unto this point. My wife thinks I look hot in my work uniform so I thought I’d put on a strip tease for her. I blindfolded her as she sat on a stool in the middle of our bedroom. A week prior, I was in the drug store and saw a vibrator for a relatively cheap price. We hadn’t really discussed the use of toys and when I sprung it on her she was not happy about it. Let’s just say things didn’t go anywhere that night. She later told me I was enough for her as she has no difficulty orgasming. I apologized for not talking about it prior. Was trying to spice things up. I asked if I should throw the vibrator away because you can’t return those things and she said she didn’t know. Seven years later we talked about using toys and she said she was open to trying. I told her I never threw the toy away and we tried it. We are both over it! And we have added to our selection and regularly use them and now laugh about that ruined V-Day.”
6. Crime Scene?:
A bride’s attempt to avoid being on her period on her wedding day resulted in a bloody surprise for the newlyweds.
“I frantically called my gynecologist the week of my wedding to ask how to NOT be on my period on my wedding day, but it didn’t work! So the night of our honeymoon, I took out my tampon while my husband went to “get ice” (we were so nervous how to get started!). Then I didn’t think anything of it.
In the morning, the sheets had blood everywhere! I wonder what that poor maid thought when they came to our room to clean later. And my new brother-in-law when he got the bill (his wedding present to us)!”
7. Big Mess:
A birthday getaway turned messy when a bottle of massage lotion leaked all over the wife’s carefully chosen outfit.
“My wife and I of 13 years recently had an amusing mishap on a birthday getaway. We had booked a stay at a local theme suite hotel in our area and had a fun evening planned. She had purchased her outfit to go with the room theme, we were having a good time just relaxing and enjoying an evening without our kids. When the time came that my wife decided to go and get changed we discovered that the bottle of massage lotion that we had brought with us and was packed in the same bag had chosen this night to leak. This was not a small bottle mind you. The entire thing had emptied on all of the stuff my wife had prepared for the evening. She frantically attempted to wash the outfit in the hotel sink but unfortunately with no success. It was disappointing in the moment but we made ways to have fun anyhow and we can laugh/roll our eyes whenever we smell the massage lotion still stuck to that outfit. Moral of the story, pack massage lotion in a separate bag from now on……”
8. Watch Where You Walk:
A seemingly innocent nature call turned into a poison ivy mishap during a hike.
“My wife and I were hiking in Bushkill Falls—an absolutely beautiful park in Pennsylvania if you ever get a chance to visit. It was our first time there, and we loved the trails. We got most of the way through, and I all of a sudden heard nature calling. My wife wasn’t happy, but she let me go into the woods. Going fairly far in, I found a place to be very secretive. Midway, I realized I had trekked through poison ivy…which I was allergic to and my wife had never had. I admitted to her what happened, and she was even more upset about it. When we left, she asked me to wait to touch her in any way until my shoes were off, my pants were off, and I had thoroughly showered. I completed all the required tasks and apologized for the hundredth time. We ended up going out to eat where she and I were able to laugh about how crazy it was, and of course continued to enjoy our honeymoon.
Word to the wise: always use the restroom going out in nature…and watch out for poison ivy!”
9. Adjusting Expectations:
A groom’s attempt to book a honeymoon suite at a Best Western resulted in a reality check.
“My husband came from a very frugal family, and he had to fund our wedding night (post reception) festivities as well as our open house near his home. He looked around for what he could afford, and called up the Park City Best Western (yes, right by the outlets).
“Can you tell me the price for your honeymoon suite?”
“I’m sorry, sir. We don’t have a honeymoon suite.” Pause. “But we have rooms by the pool.”
“Okay, I’ll take that.”
Fast forward to the big day. He and I come up to the front desk at about 11 pm, wearing a suit and a nice going away dress. We start checking in, and the clerk gives us a look and says, “You just got married, didn’t you?”
Being a more reserved (but honest) person myself, I said yes, but inside I was a little miffed. “How did they know?” I thought we were playing it so cool.
Looking back, I am sure that this reservation was circled and double starred, and they had been waiting for months to meet the guy who thought a Best Western had a honeymoon suite.
We laugh about this story every year, as well as every time we drive by that Best Western. We had a great honeymoon and have had a great life. He says that he had to start small to adjust my expectations.”
10. Black Water:
A couple’s post-wedding night took an unexpected turn when they discovered black water in the hot tub of their hotel room.
“My wife and I got married in May 2013 at her uncle’s gorgeous property in Michigan. We were going to be leaving the next day for the airport where we would depart for Cancun Mexico. We were so excited! The morning following the wedding we planned a breakfast with our families so we could say goodbye and open our wedding gifts and cards. So the night of the wedding we went to a hotel with a hot tub in our room! We were so excited to spend our first night together!! We decided that before we got into bed we would set the mood by getting in the hot tub. I started the water and my wife got in. It was as I was getting in that I realized that the water was BLACK!!!! There was stuff floating around and it was just nasty!! We got out, showered and went about our evening. Then the next morning we told the hotel staff at the front desk and they refunded our room! It’s a memory that we laugh about and tell people about today, but let me tell you it was horrific that night!”
11. Bubbling Up:
A couple’s attempt at a romantic spa bath turned into a bubbly disaster when an excessive amount of bubbles overflowed from the jacuzzi tub.
“On our wedding night, we decided to have a spa bath together. My new husband put bubbles in to make it extra special. He was not a bubble bath taker, so didn’t really know how much solution to put in. While the tub was still filling up, I looked over and saw that there was a wall of bubbles growing up the walls around the jacuzzi tub! We very quickly turned off the water and started carrying armfuls of bubbles from the jacuzzi tub to the regular bathtub trying desperately not to drop them all over the floor on the way . We may or may not have already been ready to get in the tub, so this was a very memorable way to get to know each other quickly ”
12. Nosy Maids:
A pair of newlyweds experienced an invasion of privacy when cleaning staff walked in on them not once, but twice during their honeymoon.
“My wife and I had gotten married while I was attending Air Force tech school training at the beginning of my career. It meant that we were separated from each other the first four months of our marriage. We had gotten married the day after Christmas while I was home on a few days of leave, and we had to have a very quick honeymoon for just a couple of days. Afterwards, I had to go back to tech school, which meant we looked forward to the next time we could be together for our “honeymoon part 2”.
Fast forward two months, and we are both very excited that she will be coming to stay with me for a week. So of course that means the chance for two newlyweds to make up for two months of being separated! I was able to get us a one bedroom hotel room on base. It had a living room when you came in the front door, a kitchen and dinette area further in front of you, and the bathroom and bedroom to the left through a doorway. However, you could see from the front door into the bathroom if the bathroom door was open, which will prove to be an important detail below.
So, the first day I am getting out of the shower after just having some marriage time with my wife and the bathroom door is open. All of a sudden, I notice the front door open off to my left. I feel shock come over me as I make eye contact with the maid while I am standing there naked at the bathroom door and my wife is without clothes further into the bedroom. I just abruptly ask her to leave, and she profusely apologizes.
At this point, you would think that this maid has learned to knock before coming into this particular room. Well, the next day my lovely wife and I are having a really good time in the bedroom and being fairly loud. I notice in between our noises that there is someone around the corner in the living room. So, we stop for a moment to realize that it’s the same maid who has just let herself in again and profusely apologizing once more. So, I ask her to please get out.
Finally, the next day my wife and I go for lunch elsewhere on base, and when we get back to the room the maids (two of them this time) are cleaning our room. There is nowhere for us to really go at this point because I have to go back to the school building soon. So, we awkwardly sit on the front stoop while they are going in and out of our room to clean it knowing one of them had full details of what we had done in the room the last two days. After 12 years of marriage, it is still one of our funniest and most embarrassing stories together!”
13. Beans That Keep on Giving:
In a tale of first-time intimacy, a couple’s post-wedding night was interrupted by unexpected flatulence.
“Context- My wife and I had never had sex prior to our wedding night. We were high school sweethearts and ALOT of sexual energy and tension had built up in the years we dated to our engagement and our wedding day.
Anyway, after 7 hours we reached our condo on the beach, checked in, went upstairs and stared at each other thinking “We made it!” My new bride tells me to lay down on the bed while she gets ready. 10 minutes later my gorgeous bride arrives in lingerie and we get going!
What I forgot to mention was that our reception had Mexican food: Beans, rice, meat, guac, etc.
While going at it I feel some pressure in my stomach. I hold it in thinking we should wrap up soon. But alas, that did not happen and I farted the loudest fart ever.
We stopped and laid next to each other crying laughing at the whole thing. Before long we snuggled and got back to it!
We’ve been married for ten years and have two kids with twins on the way. We still laugh about that first time”
14. Stranded in Paradise
A surprise honeymoon to the Virgin Islands took a dramatic turn when the couple found themselves stranded during Hurricane Irma.
“I decided to surprise my wife with a honeymoon to the Virgin Islands. After two days of snorkeling and soaking up sunshine at a nice resort, we got hit with one of the biggest hurricanes to hit the Caribbean — Hurricane Irma. During the 12-hour storm we locked ourselves in our bathroom, and did our best to bail out flood water. We spent the next few days hauling buckets of water from the ocean, avoiding looters who would break in and steal TVs, rationing what little food we had, and planning how we’d get back home. We ended up getting stranded for two more weeks, and missed half a semester of college. But if our marriage can make it through all of that, then I guess we can make it through anything!”
15. “Is That You, Dave?”:
A honeymoon night at a motel took an unexpected turn when a neighboring couple’s amorous activities became an unwelcome soundtrack.
“On our wedding night, we went to our motel room anxious for a romantic evening. As we got in bed, we could hear loud banging against the wall in the adjacent room. After the banging, we could hear the moans of another couple that seemed to be having their own special evening. My new virgin wife lay there, eyes wide open in horror to hear such a thing. Their moans got louder and louder until I finally pounded on the wall and told them to move their bed.
The walls were so thin we could hear each other so easily. He apologized and things got quiet. All of a sudden things heated up again for them. The headboard against the wall and their moans of ecstasy. Finally I yelled over, “Listen. This is my honeymoon night. You’re wrecking this evening for the both of us.” He replied, “Hey Dave is that you? I was just in your wedding.” “No man this is not Dave. Please quiet down, move your bed and let us have some peace.” Needless to say, my virgin wife was just done at this point. It ruined the evening but didn’t ruin our marriage. After 41 years, we can at least look back and laugh.”
16. Tuckered Out: The Unexpected Visitor
A woodland wedding dream, complete with deer as witnesses. However, as we embarked on our journey to married life, an unforeseen twist awaited.
“Our wedding was a perfect backyard woods wedding, everything went beautifully, some deer were spotted off in the trees during the ceremony, and afterwards everyone had a nice time and left at a sensible time because it was autumn, outside, in the woods. We stayed for most of tear down, which was minimal and super quick, and then we left… Only to get a call when we were almost to our new home that one of the groomsmen, who got ready at our place, left his only other pair of shoes at our house. He came over with my brother in law to get them and there I am, sitting in my wedding dress, waiting for these guys to leave while they keep talking to my brand new husband! Then my husband sends them to the store around the corner to get water or something for us. So, I started writing thank you cards and got about 75 done before we were finally left alone.
By then, it was 11pm, my husband had been working crazy hours the week prior, I was getting over a nasty virus I had two weeks prior, so we tiredly changed into comfy jammies and went to sleep. I think we both nodded off in about five minutes.
(The next day went substantially better!)
17. Problem Solving Together Already:
A husband faced a unique challenge when his wife got stuck between the wall and the bed during their honeymoon.
“When we were on our honeymoon we stayed at a lodge in North Carolina. During the night my then naked wife rolled out of bed and got stuck between the wall and the bed, since the bed was bolted to the floor. I had to figure out how to help her crawl out without hurting herself and not laugh.”
18. Series of Unfortunate Events: A Delayed, Unforgettable Start
A couple faced a series of mishaps during their honeymoon, from a delayed flight to a mistaken reservation date.
“Got married pre-mobile device, pre-travel apps days. Got married in the morning and had a mid-afternoon flight to our destination, which was only about an hour and a half flight away. Packed up wedding gifts (we had the reception the night before getting married – more people should do that!) and headed to our new apartment where my spouse had been staying alone for a month pre-wedding.
Arrived at the apartment, ready to unload the car and quickly head to the airport but the airline had left a message on the answering machine that the flight was two hours late, along with the rescheduled time. So we decided to “chill” at the apartment and one thing led to another and we got “down and dirty” thanks to our delay.
But now very relaxed and with the “sex anticipation edge” off of both of us, we drove to the airport for the delayed flight. Upon check in, the ticket agent said “you guys are really late, you better run to the gate.” We said “What? we had a message that the flight was delayed two hours.” She said, “Yeah, but they moved it back up an hour so run.”
So we took off running, married all of about six hours, virginity lost about an hour before, holding hands as we ran to the gate. They were just closing the gate but held the door for us and we were the last to board. I was totally convinced everyone we passed on the way back to row 36 could tell what we’d been doing and why we were late (and why we smelled like sex – we were a little too naive to know what that was then).
Once we arrive and got to our carefully pre-selected hotel near the airport where we (actually just I) had intended to spend a solid 24 hours naked together in the Honeymoon Suite, we discovered that somehow our travel agent (family friend did the booking) had accidentally reserved us for the same dates TWO MONTHS earlier (May instead of July) and that the hotel thought we were a no-show.
So no reservation on file for wedding night — no honeymoon suite, no flowers, no chocolates, no huge bubble bath, no “fantasy” first night honeymoon. Instead, they gave us an “executive. room” on the “quiet floor” where all the business travelers stayed because that was the largest room type they had available that night.
We had a lot of sexy fun regardless, but neither of us were ambitious or daring enough at the time to consummate (re-consummate?) our marriage on top of the enormous executive desk in the room adjacent to the bedroom. Missed opportunity. That’s our honeymoon “horror” story.”
19. Startling Start: Bubbles, Steam, and a Fire Alarm
A couple’s first encounter with intimacy took a surprising turn when a fire alarm went off in their hotel room.
“My wife and I were as innocent and uneducated as it gets when it came to sex on the honeymoon. We were staying in a bed and breakfast in salt lake and after a long day we started kissing and decided to take a bubble bath in the large jacuzzi tub. I started filling up the bathtub as we both undressed for the first time. We thought the bubbles could make it fun to slowly uncover each other for the first time. I turned up the heat on the water and it started steaming a bit. We were both naked and my wife had slipped in the bath without me there as it was still filling up. I was finally all the way in the tub when the fire alarm went off. The big room had a vaulted ceiling and the tub and sleeping area flowed together. At the top of the vaulted ceiling was a fire alarm and as I looked up at it I saw it was full of steam. I quickly jumped up, got out to grab a towel to fan the steam away and slipped on the wet floor and fell. I got up and began fanning the fire alarm with a towel.
While I am standing on the bed, soaking wet, butt naked with a fire alarm blaring away and my virgin wife laughing her head off as she sees me exposed for the first time in her life. We were in an attic room of an old house that had been made into a Bed and Breakfast. When you first open the room door, there is a flight of 10 or so stairs leading up to the actual sleeping area. This is important because as I am fanning the steam,the door opens and it is the host lady who yells up, “is everything ok up there”? “Ughh. Yeah. Just trying to get the steam away from the fire alarm. We were trying to take a bath and it set off the fire alarm!!!” Finally the alarm stopped and we ended up having our bath. Holy smokes!!! That was crazy!!!”
If you enjoyed these stories, check out this blog post.