In marriage, it can be easy to get bored with the intimate side of our relationship. We need to find ways constantly to keep things new and fresh. Being able to relax and enjoy ourselves in the bedroom makes for a more enjoyable relationship all around. While there are lots of different ways to keep things fresh in the bedroom, the one that we will explore today is a sexy lap dance! 

Confidence is Key

Confidence is sexy. So, whatever you’re doing, do it confidently! No matter how silly you may feel, be confident, and that will translate to your spouse. Be creative, but if being creative is too hard, turn to someone to be creative for you! For instance, on our app we have tons of different date ideas and even bedroom games, as do Keelie and Austin from Love Hope Adventure. Find something fun to do, and then do it with confidence!

The lap dance is one of those things that you just need to be sure to do confidently. It can feel a little awkward at first, and you may not know exactly what to do. Perhaps you just really haven’t ever seen a sexy lap dance given, and don’t know where to even start. But a lap dance is something that can bring fire into the bedroom and your relationship. Keelie and Austin are so amazing that they gave us some steps and ideas on how to make this sexy lap dance happen!

Getting Ready

There are a few things you want to have ready before you jump into your sexy lap dance. Think about where in your home is the best and most appropriate place for you to give this sexy lap dance and set the mood. Consider making some low lighting with candles, a bedside lamp, or white Christmas lights. Grab a soft blanket to lay on the chair you use for the lap dance to make it nice and cozy. Maybe spritz a little bit of your favorite perfume around the room or burn a nice smelling candle to add to the ambiance. 

Make sure you find something good to wear. You want to feel confident in whatever outfit you choose. Being able to move around in the outfit you choose is going to be extremely important. You may want to wear some lingerie or just a sexy outfit. Maybe there is something that your spouse absolutely loves to see you in, that could be the perfect outfit for this sexy lap dance. Move around a little in the outfit you choose before bringing your spouse in to make sure that it is going to work and make any necessary changes ahead of time. 

Step 1: Get A Chair

The first step and tip that Keelie gave us was to grab a chair. Get something that you can work with. Try to make sure it doesn’t have any arms, doesn’t rock, and preferably doesn’t have wheels either. A simple chair is best here as it will allow you to move around it and be able to touch your spouse from every angle. 

Check the height of the chair ahead of time to be sure that it’s not too tall and not too short. Depending on who is giving the lap dance, you may need a different chair, and that is just fine. Just know what’s going to work the best for you, and have it ready to go for your sexy lap dance. Getting into it, you definitely want to be prepared and keep the equipment simple. So don’t try to make it too crazy! 

Step 2: Pick A Song

You’ve got to have music on to give a proper lap dance, of course! Pick something you like, something that you can easily move to. Try not to make the song too fast or too slow. You will naturally move to the beat and tempo of the music. It works the same as running music- you match the pace of the song you are listening to. If it is too fast, you will be bouncing around and this can kill the mood. Too slow and you will start moving too slow as well, which can just get annoying. 

Make sure that whatever you choose isn’t something you will feel the need to sing along to. Singing along to a song is something else that can quickly kill the mood. There are times when singing can add to the experience, but for the most part, you will want to avoid this so as to not make your lap dance less sexy.

Step 3: Start Behind Them

Start behind your spouse! Starting in the back will give you an advantage and time to get warmed up. You can start to feel good about the moves you’re doing and test out a few things without any eyes on you. Get going and make sure you feel good about what you’re doing and how you’re moving before making your way to the front of the chair. 

Be sure to be touching your spouse while you are warming up behind them. They will love this! Your warm up is a teaser for them, starting to get them very excited for when you make your way around to the front. Be super hands on. You will start to feel from them the things you are doing that they really like, and be able to have that influence the moves you do as you continue your lap dance. 

Step 4: Walk Around Slowly

Slow and steady wins the race when it comes to a lap dance. Take your time working around the sides of the chair and your spouse and hang out there for a minute, letting your spouse enjoy you being next to them. Be hands on here again and really give them something to look forward to as you work your way around the chair. Finally, come on around to the front of the chair. This is when things really start to get spicy! 

Whatever you do doesn’t have to look sexy in your mind. At this point, your spouse is just simply going to be floored that you are even doing this for them. They won’t care if you look super sexy at that moment. They just love that you are trying this out! Again, remember, confidence is sexy. So whatever you do, just do it confidently!

Step 5: Basic Moves

There are a few basic moves that comprise any sexy lap dance. Try a few of them out to make sure things go smoothly and you’re both enjoying yourselves!

  • Bend over in front of your spouse
  • Lean into your spouse
  • Lean away from your spouse 
  • Give your spouse a good rub down (not necessarily just with your hands ;))
  • Kiss your spouse all over 

Try out these moves and any others you would like to experiment with. Get creative. You never know what will feel good to you and what will help your spouse really enjoy the lap dance you’re working so hard to give them. 

Fun For All

Something that is super great about this, is that sexy lap dances do not have to be performed solely by the woman in the relationship. It is just as much fun for the man to perform the lap dance for his wife, and the wife will absolutely love it! So don’t be afraid to both try out these steps. Get creative with it. Once you’re feeling a little more comfortable with your lap dance, start adding in a few things that fit with your personality. Make it individual, unique. After all, this is a lap dance that only you can give!

Perhaps you will want to consider practicing ahead of time. You have all the steps now to make a great lap dance, but if you’ve never tried it, you may feel extra awkward in the moment. Take some time to try out any moves you think could be fun around the chair you pick in your sexy outfit or lingerie. And when it is time to do this with your spouse, take control of the moment. You’re in charge of where they sit, what you do, and for how long it goes. Enjoy this power and use it well!

Love, Hope, Adventure

Keelie and Austin Reason are the wonderful couple who gave us these tips today on how to do a sexy lap dance. They run a great company called Love Hope Adventure. You can check them out here for more tips and tricks, date ideas, and more: lovehopeadventure.com

Like what you heard? Be sure to listen to the full podcast episode here! And be sure to download the Intimately Us app, the fun and sexy app for your marriage! It’s full of games, connecting activities, and ideas to increase connection and pleasure in the bedroom.