A common question we get at Get Your Marriage On! is what is okay to do in the bedroom. When faith, values, and personal desires collide it can be confusing or even discouraging. People often seek a checklist of do’s and do not’s.
In this podcast Dan interviewed clinical Psychologist Daniel Burgess who specializes in Marriage and Family Therapy and has a passion for helping couples navigate sexual intimacy. Daniel Burgess challenges us to grow and become curious about our physical intimacy as he explains why understanding our values and relationship with God is important when it comes to what goes on in the bedroom.
What We Cover in This Episode
So many of us want a simple checklist of what’s okay in bed—but therapist Daniel Burgess offers something better: a posture of curiosity and growth. We talk about why assuming sex should stay the same is a recipe for disappointment, and why exploring your desires is like peeling back the layers of an onion. Daniel also unpacks his “I didn’t marry a therapist” idea—the myth that loving each other means we’ll automatically connect well—and how letting go of the need to control your spouse is what lets you truly cherish them.
Key takeaways
- A better question than “Is this okay?” is “What are we curious to explore together?”
- Assuming sex should stay the same over the years sets couples up for disappointment.
- The “I didn’t marry a therapist” myth—that love means automatic connection—quietly hurts marriages.
- Much conflict is just different family cultures colliding: not wrong, just different.
- Trade “I accept you” for adoring and cherishing—and give up trying to control your spouse.
To keep exploring, consider whether it’s okay to want sex, find peace when your faith and sexuality feel at odds, and deepen the emotional intimacy that makes exploration feel safe.
If you’d like guidance growing in curiosity, values, and connection together, our Next Level program can help.
