A flirty text is one of the easiest ways to keep the spark alive in a marriage. It is also one of the easiest things to get wrong. The message goes to the wrong thread. A preview pops up on your lock screen at the dinner table. Your nine-year-old picks up the iPad and finds a photo that was meant for your spouse.
That is why so many couples go looking for a private messaging app just for the two of them. Below is what to look for, an honest look at the options, and why we built our own.
Looking for the short answer? If you want a messaging app made only for married couples, with a password lock, encryption and conversation ideas built in, try Just Between Us. Full disclosure: we made it. If all you need is strong encryption for everyday messaging, Signal is a good free option, but it was not designed for couples.
What to Look For in a Private Messaging App for Couples
Most messaging apps were built for talking to everyone. A couples app should do the opposite. Here is what matters most:
- Only your spouse is in it. No contact list, no group chats, so there is no way to send something to the wrong person.
- A lock on the app itself. Phones get borrowed, by kids especially. A password or passcode on the app means an unlocked phone is not an open door.
- No surprise previews. A private message should not light up your lock screen for anyone nearby to read.
- Photos that stay in the app. Pictures you share should not land in your camera roll, a shared family album, or a cloud backup the whole family can see.
- Real encryption. Ideally end-to-end, so your messages can only be read on your two phones.
- Help with what to say. Sometimes the hardest part is starting. Prompts and conversation ideas make it easier to connect on an ordinary Tuesday.
The Best Private Messaging Apps for Couples, Compared
| App | Only your spouse in it | End-to-end encryption | Conversation ideas | Cost |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Just Between Us | Yes | Yes | Hundreds of topics | Free, with an optional premium upgrade |
| Between | Yes | Not stated in its app listing | No | Free, with a paid Plus plan |
| Signal | No | Yes, by default | No | Free |
| No | Yes, by default | No | Free | |
| Regular texting | No | iMessage between iPhones only | No | Included with your phone |
1. Just Between Us: built only for married couples
Just Between Us is a fun and flirty messaging app for one purpose: keeping you connected with your spouse. You pair your phones with a sync code, so the only person who can ever receive your messages is your spouse. There are no group chats and no contacts to mix up.
- Password lock, so kids playing on your phone cannot open it.
- Double encryption. Each phone makes its own private key, and that key never leaves the phone. Nothing unencrypted is ever sent off your device.
- Shared photos can be blurred until you choose to open them, so nothing pops up unexpectedly.
- Hundreds of conversation topics, from sweet to spicy, for the days you do not know where to start.
- Free to use, with a premium upgrade that adds things like saved message history, drafts and video.
Best for: married couples who want a private place for flirting, photos and real conversation, separate from everything else on their phones.
2. Between: a couples app with a shared calendar
Between is another app that connects just two people. Alongside chat, it includes shared photo albums, a shared calendar and countdowns to anniversaries and special days. It is free, with a paid Plus plan that removes ads and adds extras. Its app listing says your data is encrypted but does not say messages are end-to-end encrypted, and it does not include conversation prompts.
Best for: couples who mostly want a shared calendar and scrapbook in one place.
3. Signal: strong encryption, but not made for couples
Signal is widely recommended by privacy experts. Every conversation is end-to-end encrypted by default, it offers disappearing messages, and you can add a screen lock. The catch is that it is an everyday messenger. Your spouse sits in the same list as your coworkers and your mom, so the wrong-thread mistake is still possible, and there is nothing in it to help you connect.
Best for: couples whose main concern is encryption and who are happy to manage the rest themselves.
4. WhatsApp: encrypted, but everyone is there
WhatsApp also encrypts messages end to end by default and lets you lock individual chats. It is owned by Meta, though, and like Signal it is built around your whole contact list, so your spouse is one thread among many.
Best for: couples who already use it and just want to lock one chat.
5. Regular texting: convenient, but the riskiest
Plain texting is where most mix-ups happen. Your spouse is one tap away from everyone else, previews show on your lock screen, and messages and photos often sync to family tablets and computers. iMessage is encrypted between iPhones, but that does not help if the wrong person is holding the iPad.
Best for: everyday logistics. Save the flirting for somewhere more private.
What about Snapchat? Disappearing messages sound appealing, but Snapchat is built for big friend lists and anyone can take a screenshot. It was not designed with marriage in mind.
Why We Built Just Between Us
We have all heard the stories: the sexy text to your spouse that got a reply from your nine-year-old, or the flirty message that went to your boss instead. Flirting with your spouse is good for your marriage. It should not come with that kind of risk.
So we built a messaging app with one person in it. Download it, invite your spouse, and share your sync code. From then on, everything you send stays between the two of you. And because a blank screen can be intimidating, we filled it with conversation starters too, from spicy questions to simple ways to say “I’m thinking about you.”
Is Sexting Okay in a Christian Marriage?
Yes. Flirting, desire and playful messages between a husband and wife are a healthy part of marriage, and a text in the middle of the day can build anticipation like nothing else. The key is that it stays between the two of you. Talk about what you are both comfortable with, start with what feels natural, and keep it somewhere private.
Not sure what to say? Start with our 25 sexy text messages to send your spouse, or, for wives, 50 spicy texts to send your husband. If you want to bring that same confidence into the bedroom, our guide to talking dirty at your own comfort level picks up where the texts leave off.
Keeping Your Messages Private, Whatever App You Use
- Turn off message previews for any app you use for flirting, so nothing shows on your lock screen.
- Check what syncs. Messages and photos often copy to tablets, laptops and shared family albums. Know where yours end up.
- Use a passcode the kids do not know, on your phone and on the app.
- Back up your key. In Just Between Us, your private key lives only on your phone. If you delete the app without backing it up, your past messages cannot be read, by anyone, including you.
- Agree on boundaries together. Some couples love words only, others want photos too. Decide as a team.
Looking for more ways to connect from your phone? See all of our apps, including the all-new Intimately Us, or our round-up of apps for every part of marriage.
Private Messaging Apps for Couples: Common Questions
For married couples, an app built only for the two of you is the safest choice, because there is no way to message the wrong person. Just Between Us pairs your phones with a sync code, locks with a password, encrypts every message and includes hundreds of conversation ideas. If you only need strong encryption, Signal is a good free option.
Yes. Just Between Us was made for married couples who want a private place to flirt and share photos. Only your spouse can receive your messages, the app can be locked with a password, and shared photos can be blurred until you open them.
No. Each phone creates its own private key, which never leaves the phone, and messages are encrypted before they are sent. The app is also password protected, so someone holding your phone cannot open it.
Yes. It is available on both the App Store and Google Play, so it works even if you and your spouse use different phones.
Yes, it is free to download and use. An optional premium upgrade adds extras like saved message history, drafts and video.
