If initiating intimacy has started to feel like more effort than excitement, you’re not alone. A lot of couples hit this phase—where one person feels like they’re always the one making the first move. It can be frustrating, even a little disheartening. But the good news? A few small shifts can bring back balance, fun, and connection.
💡 Mix It Up – If intimacy has started feeling predictable, shake things up! A surprise date, a spontaneous kiss, or even just changing the scenery can reignite that spark.
💞 Strengthen the Emotional Connection – Sometimes, feeling closer outside the bedroom makes everything inside it flow more naturally. Make time for deep talks, laughter, and simple affectionate moments throughout the day.
🔄 Share the Role – Turn initiating into a shared experience. Maybe it’s a playful signal, a note left on a pillow, or planning a date night where the expectation is already set.
🛑 Check in with Yourself – If you’re feeling exhausted or disconnected, it might not just be about intimacy. Stress, burnout, or lack of self-care can drain desire. Taking care of yourself can help bring back that natural spark.
At the heart of intimacy is the feeling of being wanted and valued—not just physically, but emotionally, too. A little creativity, a little teamwork, and a lot of communication can make all the difference.
That’s exactly what I’ll be covering in my free Sexual Desire Differences Webinar on April 10th. If you and your spouse are looking for practical ways to get on the same page and bring back excitement, I’d love for you to join me.
And here’s something to try today: Start the Conversation. Sometimes, the simplest way to shift intimacy is to talk about it. Instead of a complaint, make it an invitation:
“I love being close to you, but I’ve been feeling a little worn out always making the first move. Can we find a way to share that more?”
That one honest conversation can open the door to something even better.
