We launched Intimately Us, a mobile app designed especially for married couples, over four years ago. This app helps couples improve intimate playtime, as well as providing a way to record precious and intimate moments of connection in the app’s private intimacy calendar.
Yet, one of the biggest complaints we hear from couples is that they forget to record when they last rocked it between the sheets in the Intimately Us app’s intimacy calendar. Users say things like the following:
“Thanks to the app, we’re having so much bedroom fun and we’ve never felt closer in our relationship. But a few days go by and I can’t remember—was it two or three times last Saturday? Or was it Sunday?”
Look, I totally understand your pain.
Two years ago, we introduced Sheets and Ladders to the world—a high-tech bedsheet disguised as a bedroom game. We’re proud to announce an upgrade to both Sheets and Ladders and the Intimately Us app.
By installing an inconspicuous sensor that attaches to the side of the bed, the sheet’s built-in sensors activate and automatically report and record your amorous bedroom activity and sync it with the Intimately Us app.
But it’s taken us years for technology to catch up, and that’s why we’re so excited to make this announcement.
This is what our chief engineer, Bob, says:
“You know, it’s really amazing that our leadership team had the foresight to put tactile sensors in the textile itself. It uses the latest in IoT milling and takes advantage of the latest in shrinking semi technology. Those little X’s and O’s printed on the sheet are actually sensors—and it sends real-time feedback. It’s phenomenal technology advancements.”
In addition to automatically recording when you make love and syncing it to the Intimately Us app, in the near future, the sheet’s body temperature, heart rate monitoring, and respiratory rate sensors will be able to measure precisely the intensity and number of your big O’s.
We’ll also be able to rate your performance in bed across various positions like missionary, doggy, cowgirl—all inferred from real-time sensor data.
It’s also completely secure and discreet to protect your privacy.
As they say, what you track, record, and report gets improved. So why not use the latest tech to uplevel your bedroom rodeo skills?
Upgrade your love life and never forget to track your visits to pound town again. Get your marriage on with Sheets and Ladders and Intimately Us today.
But wait! There’s more!
In honor of this high-tech upgrade announcement, use the code APRILFOOLS to get 20% off your Sheets and Ladders set—while supplies last.
