Stress is one of the biggest hidden threats to a happy marriage—it pulls couples into survival mode and quietly drains connection. Family therapist Dr. Matt Eschler shares three simple, practical ways to reduce relationship stress: limit your news intake, stay active and connected, and do one small thing each day to make tomorrow a little better.
Life has a way of piling on stress—demanding work, money pressures, parenting, illness, or just the relentless pace of a busy season. Whatever the source, that stress rarely stays contained; it spills into our marriages, often without us noticing.
Many couples find themselves slipping from thriving into survival mode, and they’re looking for practical ways to get back to thriving.
I reached out to Dr. Matt Eschler, PhD and family therapist, for practical tips about what couples can do to reduce stress.
Watch the 6 minute video by clicking below to hear what he has to say:
In summary, his suggestions are:
- Limit news consumption. Stay informed but don’t let the gloom and doom of news pump continual fear into your home.
- Remain active. Get outdoors and move around to avoid isolation. Use this as an opportunity to date your spouse every day.
- Find something to make every day better. Do one little thing tomorrow to make tomorrow better, but don’t fall into the trap of perfectionism.
Why does reducing stress protect your marriage?
Stress acts like a brake on intimacy. When your nervous system is stuck in fight-or-flight, it’s hard to feel patient, playful, affectionate, or in the mood. Couples under chronic stress tend to get shorter with each other, drift into roommate mode, and put connection last—which only adds more stress. Easing the pressure, even a little, creates room for warmth and desire to return.
That’s why Dr. Eschler’s three tips matter so much. Limiting the steady drip of alarming news keeps fear from setting the tone in your home. Staying active and getting outside fights isolation—and turning a daily walk into a mini-date protects your connection when life is loud. And choosing one small improvement each day, without chasing perfection, gives you momentum and a sense of agency instead of overwhelm.
To keep your connection strong under pressure, build your emotional intimacy, understand why connection and a shared mental load fuel desire, and learn how to get in the mood even when life is stressful.
Have you found creative ways to handle the added pressures of a stressful season on your relationship? Share them in the comments below!
If stress has your marriage stuck in survival mode, our Next Level program can help you get back to thriving.
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