Today’s intimacy tip is about how to feel more connected to your spouse while making love.
Have you ever wolfed down a meal so quickly that you barely tasted it? You’re so focused on getting food into your stomach that you miss out on savoring it!
Sometimes, without realizing it, we approach sex in the same way. We get caught up in “getting it done” rather than fully immersing ourselves in the beauty of the experience.
I believe intimacy is meant to be savored, not wolfed down. Just like enjoying that last bite of a decadent brownie, you want to slow down and pay attention to every touch, every sensation. This creates a whole new level of connection with your spouse during the act.
Are You Disconnected From Your Own Arousal?
Many of us have moments where we may be physically aroused but actually not even notice it! We’re not fully present. The body is there, but the mind is elsewhere—focused on what’s coming next or simply “getting through” the act.
One place this happens is when chasing the goal of orgasm. Don’t get me wrong, orgasms are amazing (and we all need more of them in our lives), but when achieving orgasm becomes the sole focus, it can actually be disconnecting. We miss out on the whole experience.
Instead, focus on what’s pleasurable and arousing in the moment. Learn how to enjoy arousal for arousal’s sake. Sharing arousal is more connecting than rushing toward the destination.
How to Slow Down and Savor Every Sensation
Next time you’re with your spouse, try this: slow down and focus on the little things. Whether it’s the warmth of their skin, their aroma, taste, the rhythm of their breathing, or the softness of a touch, bring your awareness to the present moment. No rushing, no agenda—just being.
Imagine how you’d savor that last bite of a delicious brownie, letting the richness linger on your tongue. Do the same with each sensation, noticing what feels good and communicating that with your lover. This simple shift can turn a routine experience into something extraordinary.
If you struggle with knowing where to begin, here’s a tip to help you get started: before you begin, take a few moments to center yourself. Focus on your breathing and let it calm your nervous system. This will help you feel more open, more connected, and more attuned to your partner. By being grounded in your body, you’ll experience the moment more fully.
A New Kind of Connection
Slowing down helps you connect to your own arousal and your partner’s, opening the door to greater intimacy and trust. It’s about more than physical pleasure—it’s about being fully there with each other, enjoying every moment for what it is, rather than rushing to the finish line.
Try it out this week. Give yourselves permission to slow down, explore, and savor every moment together. You’ll be amazed at how it can transform your connection, both in and out of the bedroom.
