Emotional Connection Requires a Safe Space

by | Oct 31, 2024 | General Posts

 Emotional connection is the foundation of a deeply intimate & satisfying sexual relationship.
During our Couples Retreat two weeks ago, we devoted an evening this vital topic of how to connect emotionally. One couple shared that learning how to connect emotionally made the entire retreat worth it.


But why is emotional connection so challenging for many (especially men)?
Part of it comes down to creating a safe space. When your spouse shares something emotionally vulnerable, like doubts about their faith or difficult feelings, it’s natural to feel anxious and want to jump in with advice, judgment, or solutions. This response, though well-intentioned, can send the message that their emotions aren’t safe to share.

Instead, the key is becoming a safe listener.
When you can sit with your partner’s feelings—without trying to control the conversation or fix the problem—you open the door to deeper emotional connection.
One simple practice to build this skill is to share emotions daily. Think of the core emotions from the movie Inside Out—Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust. Emily and I do this Emotions Checkin conversation almost every night.

Each day, take turns sharing when you felt each one of these emotions. When it’s your turn to listen, simply listen.
Don’t judge, fix, or explain. Just try to understand and create space. It may feel awkward at first, but with practice, this will strengthen your bond!
As you both create space to be heard and understood, you’ll find that emotional connection becomes easier and more natural. As your capacity to together undress emotionally increases, you’ll find it easier to undress physically as well.
Now go get your marriage on!

Don't miss out!
Join our mailing list

Get notified of updates & tips to enrich intimacy in your marriage!

Invalid email address
<h3>Dan Purcell</h3>

Dan Purcell

Dan and his wife Emily Purcell are the founders of Get Your Marriage On! They are on a mission to strengthen marriages by making lovemaking incredibly fun and deeply connecting. Dan is a sex coach. They are also the creators of the popular Intimately Us and Just Between Us apps that have been downloaded over 750,000 times. They are the host of the popular Get Your Marriage On! podcast with over 1 million listens. In addition to their coaching program, they host romantic retreat getaways for couples, and put on workshops on how to have a great sex life and deeper intimacy. Dan and Emily met in middle school and have been married for over 20 years and have 6 kids. Dan loves cracking dad jokes, running marathons, planning the next creative date night with his sweetheart, and enjoys the magnificent outdoors around their St George home.

You might also like:

Is It Grabbing or Groping?

Is It Grabbing or Groping?

There’s a fine but significant line between grabbing and groping. Understanding this difference can prevent unnecessary relationship tension and help foster a...