Emotional connection is the foundation of a deeply intimate & satisfying sexual relationship.
During our Couples Retreat two weeks ago, we devoted an evening this vital topic of how to connect emotionally. One couple shared that learning how to connect emotionally made the entire retreat worth it.
But why is emotional connection so challenging for many (especially men)?
Part of it comes down to creating a safe space. When your spouse shares something emotionally vulnerable, like doubts about their faith or difficult feelings, it’s natural to feel anxious and want to jump in with advice, judgment, or solutions. This response, though well-intentioned, can send the message that their emotions aren’t safe to share.

Instead, the key is becoming a safe listener.
When you can sit with your partner’s feelings—without trying to control the conversation or fix the problem—you open the door to deeper emotional connection.
One simple practice to build this skill is to share emotions daily. Think of the core emotions from the movie Inside Out—Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust. Emily and I do this Emotions Checkin conversation almost every night.
Each day, take turns sharing when you felt each one of these emotions. When it’s your turn to listen, simply listen.
Don’t judge, fix, or explain. Just try to understand and create space. It may feel awkward at first, but with practice, this will strengthen your bond!
As you both create space to be heard and understood, you’ll find that emotional connection becomes easier and more natural. As your capacity to together undress emotionally increases, you’ll find it easier to undress physically as well.
Now go get your marriage on!