Pregnant sex!? Back in my single days, my roommates and I had a tradition of making every new visitor to our apartment watch what we thought was the funniest YouTube video ever. I have linked it below so hopefully you will enjoy it just as much as we did.
For those of you who didn’t watch the video, it is a humorous reading of Yahoo! Answers on the topic of being pregnant. As funny as these questions are, it’s obvious there are so many people who have questions about having sex while pregnant!
Pregnant Sex: Things Change
First of all, let’s be clear. Unless your doctor says otherwise, you can absolutely have sex while pregnant. However, certain changes can make it difficult to have sex in the same ways you did before.
- Hormones Changing: Your hormones can change drastically during pregnancy. Hormones can shift during each trimester, and even after giving birth may never go back to how they were. Hormone changes can greatly increase or decrease your sexual desire and arousal.
- Body Changing: Your body goes through a lot of physical changes during pregnancy. Your growing belly may make some sex positions hard. Along with physical difficulties, some women struggle to love their pregnant bodies. It can be hard to want sex if you are feeling insecure in your body.
- Role Changing: Becoming a parent is no small task. While being pregnant, there may be times when the weight of your new role may feel overwhelming. You may feel pressure to start acting like the perfect mom (or dad). This may not leave a lot of room in your brain for your spouse or for sex.
- Energy Changing: Being pregnant means having no energy. If you know you know. Sometimes you are just SO TIRED and SO SICK. There are times when all you can do is survive and sex is the last thing on your mind.
- Everything’s Changing!: All these factors combined (with plenty of others) can lead to unanticipated changes. I have a friend who used to be the definition of a night owl. However, after getting pregnant she could not get her body to stay up past 9pm. Each pregnancy will come with unique changes.
How to Have a Sexy Pregnancy
It will be impossible to fully prepare for all of these changes. When it comes to having sex while pregnant, you will need practice going with the flow!
The key is to have open and honest communication. Wives, you are changing the most during this time. It will be up to you to tell your husband what has been going on. Let him know, kindly, if what you used to do isn’t working any more. Let him know that you love him and want to be intimate, but also update him on what your body and mind need. Husbands, this is a fantastic opportunity for you to show your love by serving your wife. As she grows your child inside of her, she is going to need you more than ever to be flexible, creative, and a good listener. Help her feel beautiful, loved, and respected.
For both of you, you may need to redefine intimacy in your relationship. I will give you some great sex positions to use while pregnant, but penetration may not be the best option at this stage of life. Intimacy includes anything that can bond the two of you emotionally, spiritually, and/or physically. This can be anything from deep conversations, gentle snuggles, or oral sex. Talk with your spouse about what types of intimacy they are craving, and be creative in looking to fulfill each other’s needs.
5 Sex Positions for Pregnant Sex
All of that being said, it can be really fun to have sex while pregnant! The changes in your body inspires more creativity. And hormone shifts can change the pursuer dynamics! Here are some suggested positions to help get your creativity flowing.
Backseat Driver
In this position, the husband sits on a chair or sofa with back support. His wife sits in his lap as he penetrates from behind. This position can allow for penetration during any trimester. It also offers back support for both spouses, allowing for comfort and fun! The wife can move up and down, or grind on her husband’s lap. Her husband can hold onto her hips or her breasts.
Spoon/ Bipolar Spoon
This position can also allow for pregnant penetration, but this time with both spouses lying down. The husband lies behind his wife, with both of them on their sides. In a spoon position, your heads are close together. This can allow for whispering sweet nothings and can be more intimate. In Bipolar Spoon, your heads are on opposite sides. This can allow for a deeper penetration. Either way, in this position she can rest her belly on the bed (or couch) while her husband gets to penetrate. He can also reach over and touch her erogenous zones.
Butterfly
In this position, the wife lays on her back at the edge of the bed (if you are uncomfortable laying on your back at this point in your pregnancy, this may not be the right position for you!). Her husband stands in front of her and penetrates. You may need to add extra pillows or a stool so you are both at the right height. This position can feel more wild and fun, which can help you feel sexy during your pregnancy.
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
It is also important to remember that penetration is not necessarily the goal. Working toward a deep, intimate connection where both spouses feel seen and valued may mean mixing it up. And your unique pregnancy may mean that pleasurable penetration is not an option for the time being. Enter oral sex.
This position will help her feel like a queen. Get your wife into a comfortable lounging position (maybe leaning back on a stack of pillows). Ask her to pull her knees up and spread her legs. This gives you easy access to please her with your mouth and/or hands. You can hook your arms around her legs to pull closer and feel more connected to each other. For more tips, read our post on Cunnilingus.
Fire Hydrant
On the other hand, ladies if you are feeling like you don’t want penetration here is a great way to help your husband feel pleased and satisfied. Have him stand in front of you with his legs slightly spread. Sit on the ground (or use a stool or other aids to get to the right height) facing him and use your mouth/hands to stimulate him. Discuss beforehand if you are comfortable going all the way and what to do with the ejaculate. For more tips, read our post on Fellatio.
More Positions!
If you want more positions for pregnant couples, or for any situation, download the Intimately Us! App. The premium version has over 100 sex positions sorted into several helpful categories, including pregnancy-friendly, car friendly, and chair/table.
Written by Amanda Severson with Get Your Marriage On!
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