God designed our bodies and they do some pretty amazing things! Squirting and gushing, otherwise known as female ejaculation, is one of them. The idea that women ejaculate may seem weird to you, it’s often misunderstood, and even a little bit controversial. If you’ve experienced female ejaculation you may even wonder why your body does it. This article will show you that squirting is a beautiful and natural part of the female sexual response and can be breathtaking for you and your partner.
What Is Squirting?
“Squirting” is used to describe female ejaculation. This is when your vulva emits liquid from the urethra in response to sexual stimulation or orgasm. Squirting is different from vaginal lubrication (being wet). The fluid released is usually watery and colorless, and sometimes odorless. Although it comes out of the urethra, it’s not urine. A woman can empty her bladder before sex and still experience some squirting as she gets sexually aroused.
Scientific research indicates that the liquid that is released when a woman squirts is a mixture of prostatic secretions and a little urine. It’s a clear liquid that originates from her Skene’s glands, or “the female prostate.”
It’s possible that you’ve almost squirted before but held back because it felt different. Read on to learn how you can enjoy it.
Can All Women Squirt?
It’s hard to say for sure what percentage of women experience squirting from sexual activity because it’s hard to do a comprehensive scientific study on it (you can imagine how intrusive that kind of study would be). One small study by the International Society for Sexual Medicine reports that 10% to 50% of women have ejaculated during sexual activity but “most aren’t aware of it because the fluid often flows backward into the bladder instead of outside the body.”
The amount of fluid ejaculated differs a lot from woman to woman, ranging from a little trickle to gushing a half-cup’s worth. Squirting is often seen in porn, where it’s exaggerated or faked, as producers of pornography tend to be drawn to extremes and distort real sexual experiences.
What’s So Great About Squirting?
Squirting has an incredible feeling of release. Prolonged sexual arousal builds up fluid produced by the Skene’s gland and is pleasurable to let it all out. Scientists say the Skene gland is the female analog of the male prostate. As a reminder, the prostate is responsible for producing up to 70% of the fluid a man ejaculates.
Squirting is not quite the same as having an orgasm but still feels orgasmic. Gushing is described as a profoundly satisfying letting go or a total-body relaxing release. A woman may feel warmth and a liberating loss of control combined with a feeling of being utterly care-free for a moment.
When a woman squirts, it isn’t like an orgasm where she reaches a peak of pleasure and then comes down quickly. A woman usually squirts independently from orgasm and her level of arousal doesn’t change after squirting.
The vulnerability of fully letting go can create a very intimate experience for the couple. For many, it represents not holding anything back and fully giving in to the moment of passion. This can be a special moment between you and your spouse and quite enjoyable.
Squirting can get messy but as many women profess, it’s so worth it! Those who’ve squirted before might worry about the mess they’ll make or wonder if their spouse will think it’s gross or dirty. Another concern women might have is how it feels. When women are about to squirt they feel a build-up of pressure, in other words, almost-squirting feels like almost-peeing!
Female ejaculation fluid is very thin & watery and dries quickly (unlike semen or vaginal lubrication). Because of this you’re going to want to put a waterproof throw, disposable chux pads, a crib mat, or a few towels under you. Some people even have designated sex blankets. Having something underneath you will protect your bedding and furniture from the fluids. Protecting your bedding or furniture from your sexy fluids can ease anxiety and allow you to relax and enjoy the wet experience entirely.
Another way to contain fluid is to have your husband sexually stimulate you while you’re sitting on a chair over a floor that’s easy to mop up (such as tile or wood floor). You’re free to gush onto the floor in the height of passion. Have a towel handy to make cleanup a cinch.
Embracing the “mess” and welcoming the wetness is part of the sexual experience. Sharing a liberating and vulnerable experience like this can be very intimate. Couples that associate intimacy and its goodness with squirting make it a wonderful part of their marriage. Besides, isn’t life, marriage, and sex sometimes a little bit messy anyway?
Finding a Technique that Works For You
Before diving into discussing specific techniques, it’s important to keep in mind that great sex is so much more than mastering skills, following a recipe, or focusing on technique alone. Sex is best when you feel rather than touch; make love with your heart and mind rather than just your genitals.
There are a few techniques that are more likely to make you squirt but every woman is different. There isn’t a magic method or routine that will make you gush every time. The techniques suggested below are designed to produce a feeling of tension building up, similar to the pressure on your bladder giving you an urge to pee.
It takes a while to build up the tension that will be released as a squirt; it can’t be rushed. Take the time to flirt and think sexy thoughts about your spouse throughout the day. Enjoy lots of foreplay. Do what you like to do to set the mood, such as turning down the lights and or using candles and music. The goal is for both of you to get comfortable, relaxed, and very turned on.
The type of stimulation that leads to squirting is usually faster movements with pressure. Don’t rush through foreplay. If she isn’t sufficiently aroused, the initial buildup to gushing often doesn’t feel pleasurable.
Whenever you get close to squirting it will feel like you need to pee. Instead of holding it in, relax through it and let go. Bear down instead of contracting and pulling back. Subsequent gushes usually come more easily after your first one.
The task at hand is to find a stimulation technique that gives you that odd feeling of tension building or the feeling of needing to relieve your bladder. When you find what works, use it during the three stages of squirting we talk about below.
The following are some techniques that tend to make women squirt. Give them a try and see what works for the two of you.
Sex positions that allow firm and constant g-spot stimulation are likely to make her gush. The easiest way to stimulate the Skenes gland is by putting pressure on the top vaginal wall (the side with your belly button) a few inches in. You may be familiar with this spot if you enjoy g-spot stimulation. Husbands can use shallow, fast strokes, and keep lots of pressure on her vagina’s upper wall.
Here are a few sex positions that may work.
- Armrest Yes Sex Position – the wife lies down on her back on a sofa or armchair with her bottom up on the armrest. Her husband, standing by the side of the armrest, enters her.
- Plow Sex Position – the wife positions lots of pillows under her bottom to raise her up while her husband kneels and enters her.
- Doggy Style Sex Position – the wife gets on all fours and the husband enters from behind.
Sex Tip: You may need to pull out or stop and remain still as she squirts.
Manual Stimulation Tips
Note that building up the arousal and stimulation for squirting may take a bit of time. If she can gush during intercourse, great! But many men can’t last long enough for it to happen. Here are some manual stimulation techniques that might work.
BANG BANG Manual Stimulation Technique
The BANG BANG Manual Stimulation Technique uses two fingers and a firm, steady, fast tapping motion to stimulate the g-spot.
Sex Tip: It may help if the g-spot stimulation in any of these techniques is paired with intense clitoral stimulation from fingers or a vibrator.
Come-Hither Clasp Manual Stimulation Technique
The Come-Hither Clasp Manual Stimulation Technique uses two fingers and a come-hither motion to stimulate the g-spot.
Reverse Come-Hither Manual Stimulation Technique
The Reverse Com-Hither Manual Stimulation Technique uses two fingers’ knuckles to stimulate the g-spot.
Consider a Dildo or Vibrator
Some sex toys are designed to better stimulate the g-spot. A curved dildo or g-spot vibrator can be used to stimulate her g-spot by inserting it two or three inches into her vagina and pressing it firmly against the top wall of her vagina while moving it in and out in short, quick motions.
Sex Tip: You may need to pull the dildo or vibrator out as she ejaculates. Communication is essential here.
These manual stimulation techniques can be used by themselves or together. For example, you can use only the BANG BANG stimulation technique or you can start with the Reverse Come-Hither technique, transition to the Come-Hither Clasp technique, and end with the BANG BANG technique. Try different things to figure out what works for you and your spouse. Half of the fun is trying, right?
Three Stages of Squirting
Squirting is usually achieved in three stages: warmup, buildup, and release. Think about the three stages as a rollercoaster ride. Warmup is the anticipation of the fun ahead, think the drive to the park and walk to the roller coaster. Buildup is when you’re being seated on the ride and the slow journey up the long, tall hill. Release is when you roll over the top of the first hill and dive down. Let me explain in more detail.
#1 Warm up
Once you’ve found a technique that generates stimulation and has you feeling that unique tension buildup or the need to pee, work with that.
Start by spending time doing what you normally find sexually arousing in foreplay. Transition to spending time touching and stimulating the g-spot area in her vagina, by slowly building up the intensity. Go slow and take your time; there’s no need to rush.
Sex Tip: A technique called edging may work for you during warmup. Edging takes you nearly to orgasm and then backs off. Repeat this a few times to really prime the pump and generate lots of tension and anticipation.
Increase the pressure, speed, and consistency of the stimulation. The pressure being placed on her erogenous zone needs to be more than usual, and the speed of the movements need to be faster than usual too.
She’ll start to feel an increasing tension building up within her. Sometimes it takes several minutes of consistent stimulation to build up tension, so patience and a comfortable position are essential.Keep it steady and repeat the motion over and over again.
Once the tension or pressure inside feels like you’re going to burst, use one or more of these techniques to trigger squirting.
Unclench Your Muscles
Clench your internal pelvic muscles like you’re holding the pressure and tension that’s being built up within during the buildup phase, and then when you can’t keep it in anymore, relax your muscles and release the floodgates.
After the tension has been built up to what feels like your limit, an increase in speed and pressure from the manual stimulation technique might be what it takes to bring you over the edge.
Staying super consistent with the amount of pressure, speed, and type of motion is enough for some women to ejaculate once they’ve built up enough tension.
Some wives gush when they bear down like they’re pushing something out.
When she’s full of tension and ready to open the dam, pulling out whatever is in her vagina tends to open the floodgates and cause her to release and squirt.
The amount of fluid will vary. Some women squirt a few drops, and others will gush a half a cup. Some women dribble while others squirt a pretty strong stream.
Wisdom for Husbands
Your Reaction Matters
How you react when she squirts will most likely determine how she feels about it. If the sight of her ejaculation turns you on, she’ll most likely be turned on, too. If you make a face or get grossed out by her squirting, she’ll probably be less enthusiastic about this natural response to her sexual arousal.
A husband can get overly focused on making their wife squirt that she feels like an object, a project, or pressured to do something she has very little control over. This can get in the way of building intimacy. Be sure to check your motives — care more about her pleasure than achieving a goal. Squirting can be natural, intimate, and incredible but if she feels pressured it most likely won’t happen.
The process of relaxing her, building up tension, and release usually means a long continuous stimulation session. Your wife may feel that she’s taking too long or you’re getting tired or not having any fun. Make it clear to her that she’s not taking too long, there is no time limit, and you’re enjoying every bit of it regardless if she squirts or not.
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“Female Ejaculation: What Is It, Is It Real, and Are There Any Benefit.” Medical News Today, MediLexicon International, www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323953.
Fox, Alix. “Female Ejaculation: Every Question You Ever Had, Answered.” BBC Three, BBC, 5 Aug. 2019, www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/544c5686-e3bc-4ac2-b4ca-f91eccefe441.
“How to Make Your Wife Squirt: Christian Sex Tips.” Marriage Bed Tips, 30 Aug. 2020, www.marriagebed.tips/manual-stimulation/how-to-make-your-wife-squirt/.
“What Is Squirting?” Daye, yourdaye.com/vitals/womens-health/what-is-squirting-female-ejaculation.