You’re sitting on the couch with your spouse, watching a classic RomCom. The protagonists on screen are in the car. It’s pouring rain, or they’re stuck in a ditch, or their car has a flat tire, or any other number of plot conveniences to keep the pair stuck in the car. The two of them start passionately making out, the windows steam up, and the scene fades to black. You look over at your spouse and wonder if you two could ever manage the romantic (but often impractical) feat of having sex in the car.
Car sex is often shown in movies. It could be horny teenagers or bitter rivals, but they always end up needing to have each other right then and there in the car. However in real life this may seem more impractical. Cars are small, usually without a ton of room to lay down. They have seatbelts, armrests, and other obstacles to navigate. Plus, a car can’t offer the same level of privacy that a locked bedroom can.
In spite of these obstacles, many people find themselves daydreaming about car sex. It can be intoxicating to think about a passion so intense that these drawbacks don’t matter. Maybe thinking about sex in the car makes you feel like a teenager, sneaking around and doing something that feels exciting. If you, or your spouse, have this daydream here are our tips for how to make car sex plausible in your marriage!
***Disclaimer***
Having sex in public is illegal in many areas. We’re not endorsing you doing anything illegal, or public. Find a place where you know you can have privacy. And check with your local laws first to make sure you know what you’re getting into!
What are You Hoping For?
First, it is important for you to discover what you are hoping for with car sex. Are you wanting a roleplay that involves breaking the rules? Or wanting some novel scenery? Or are you wanting to make your road trip exciting and memorable? Or is it something else? Defining your expectations greatly increases the chances that those expectations will be met.
Once you know what you want, share that with your spouse. Car sex (in spite of what the movies say) usually needs a bit of preparation. If you jump right in without your spouse expecting it, it can be very nerve wracking or awkward for them. Share with your spouse your daydreams about car sex, and the underlying desires. They may have had the same idea! However, they could also not quite feel comfortable with the idea. You can use this post to come up with ideas they may be more comfortable with, but in the end no one should ever feel pressured to do something they are not comfortable with. If your spouse isn’t comfortable with the idea of car sex, you two can brainstorm together others ways to get your underlying desires met, or start working on other desires!
Ways to Try Car Sex
Once you know what it is you want from car sex, you can look at the following suggestions and decide what feels right for you! Consider with your spouse which of these tips might be helpful, but as always use your own imagination and creativity to create new experiences you both might enjoy!
Start in the car then move inside
Go out for a date, just like any other date night. However, you can start getting steamy in the car. Flirt, touch each other, and let your spouse know how much you want them. This flirty touching can even start before the date, giving your and your spouse something to be excited for after the date is over. Do as much as you feel comfortable in the car, then run inside to finish the night. This can be a great way to spark imagination and passion, but then return to the safety of the bedroom for the more intimate moments.
Use your garage
You could also start out as we explained above, but use the privacy of the garage to have sex if that’s something you feel comfortable with! Once you get to the privacy of your garage, you can start taking clothes off and getting passionate. If it starts to become too difficult to keep going in the car, you always have the backup option of going into the house.
One important safety note: turn the engine off. Never run a car in a closed garage, even for a few minutes, because carbon monoxide builds up quickly.
Plan for privacy
Privacy is often what makes or breaks car sex, especially for the spouse who is less sure about the idea. One husband told us he had always fantasized about car sex at a drive-in movie. His wife was not comfortable with it, knowing anyone could walk by and see. So they bought a set of window covers. With every window covered she felt safe, they got to cross it off their sexy bucket list, and nobody else saw something they did not sign up to see.
Window covers, a windshield sunshade and a blanket over the back seat go a long way. The point is not sneaking around. It is protecting each other’s boundaries, and everyone else’s too. Not ready for a real drive-in? Set up a driveway drive-in movie date at home instead, with total privacy.
Practice Makes Perfect
Car sex doesn’t have to be spontaneous to be fun! Sometimes, a little bit of strategy goes a long way to making the experience more enjoyable. Before your date, explore your car. How far back do your seats go? Can the back seats lay down? (Hint: the minivans have an advantage here!) See if you can pack towels, blankets, or pillows to soften surfaces and to cover pokey bits (I’ve gotten my share of bruises from protruding seatbelt sockets). You can even practice getting into position with your spouse to discover what positions might work and lessen the chance of bumped heads. It may seem a bit silly to plan all of this ahead of time, but trust me. It will be well worth the effort once things get passionate to have a smooth transition into intimacy.
Penetration isn’t the only kind of sex!
Penetration is probably the hardest type of sex to accomplish in the car. We often forget that there is more than one way to have sex! Oral sex can be extremely fun in the car, as well as manual stimulation. Sex toys work great on road trips too! Channel your passion to have your partner right then and direct it into your intimate touching. With their permission, reach into their clothes and show them how special you find every piece of their body.
Add a Roleplay!
Lastly, add some spice by doing a roleplay together! For car sex, the most common fantasies center on being teenagers who are doing something they shouldn’t and are worried about getting caught. This can add a thrill to the experience! Other fun roleplays to try in the car could be strangers who just met, rivals somehow stranded together, or a first date that neither of you wants to end. For more ideas, see our role-play ideas for married couples. Find something that you are comfortable imagining, but also excites you!
Car Sex Positions That Actually Work
Cars are tight, so the best positions are the ones that use the space you have rather than fight it. Three that work in most vehicles:
- The reclined passenger seat. Slide the seat all the way back and recline it as far as it goes. He sits, and she straddles him facing him. This usually gives the most room and is the easiest place to start.
- The back seat lap. He sits in the middle of the back seat, and she sits on his lap, facing him or facing away. Mind your head on the roof, and let her control the movement.
- Seats folded flat. If your back seats fold down, an SUV or minivan cargo area with a blanket over it is almost a bed. Lying down together, face to face or spooning, is the most comfortable option of all.
Whatever you try, go slowly the first time and pad anything hard. For more ideas once you are back inside, see our sex positions for married couples. And if you want another way to get out of the bedroom without leaving home, try shower sex.
Conclusion
Car sex is very romanticized in the media. Most couples think that is something solely reserved for others who are more reckless than a happily married pair. However, if you want to try it there are so many ways to make your dreams into reality! Remember that in most places it is illegal to have sex in public, so make sure you find a private enough place to enjoy each other without worry. Even if car sex is something you just talk about, it can open your mind to new possibilities and ways to become even more intimate with your spouse. So get to discovering what you want!
Car Sex: Common Questions
Sex anywhere you could be seen is illegal in many places, and the laws vary by location. The safest choice is somewhere fully private, like your own garage with the engine off. If you are unsure, check your local laws first.
The reclined passenger seat, with her straddling him, is usually the easiest because it gives the most room. If your back seats fold flat, the cargo area of an SUV or minivan with a blanket over it works almost like a bed.
Within marriage, trying something new together is a healthy way to keep things playful. What matters is that you both genuinely want to, that neither of you feels pressured, and that the setting is truly private so no one else sees.
Written by Amanda Severson with Get Your Marriage On!
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