Summer is here (at least for those of us in the northern hemisphere!). School is out, and the kids, especially teenagers, are up late every night. Our regular routine is out of whack. We have travel planned and visitors coming to stay with us too.
During these busy summer months, itβs easy for intimate connection with your spouse to take a back seat. But it doesnβt have to be that way. This summer can be your hottest and most intimate yet!
Make Your Marriage Sizzle This Summer: Schedule Sex
My #1 tip for making your marriage sizzle this summer is to schedule sex. Here are three reasons why this works.
The Myth of Spontaneity
First, to some of you, the idea of scheduling sex may not sound sexy at all. After all, isnβt it far more romantic when itβs spontaneous and βjust happensβ?
The reality is, after youβve been married a while, spontaneously jumping between the sheets doesnβt happen very often, if at all. Youβve reached a different stage in your marriage. You have lives full of responsibilities, children, work, volunteering, and other obligations. Besides, youβve come to learn your spouseβs quirks, patterns, moves, and habits. There are no more secrets!
At the same time, donβt we pull out our calendars and plan our vacations, kidsβ camps, doctorβs appointments, and everything else? Why not make sex a priority too and give it the time it deserves?
Redefining Obligation
Secondly, some couples struggle with scheduling sex because they see scheduling it as an obligation. I get it. Everyone can agree that obligatory sex is the worst kind there is. If thatβs you, I want to offer you another way to think about it.
Ask yourself, what are you really scheduling? Is there a minimum level of physical contact you would generally never say no to, such as:
- A back massage
- A make-out session
- Cuddling while watching a show you both enjoy
- Enjoying a relaxing bath together?
Thatβs what you schedule then. Agree beforehand that in order for this plan to work, it doesnβt always have to lead to full-on sex. Itβs about enjoying intimate connection with an important person in your life.
Easing Anxiety and Building Anticipation
Lastly, a benefit of scheduling sex is it helps the higher-desire spouse be less anxious, wondering when the next encounter might be. It also helps the lower-desire spouse plan ahead, anticipate, and even look forward to the time together.
So schedule it and enjoy the fireworks (in your bedroom)!
Join Our Virtual Retreat
Speaking of schedulingβ¦ on July 12-13, Emily and I are hosting a virtual retreat. You should come. Youβll feel left out if you miss it.
This retreat is the kind where you join from the comfort of your bedroom or a hotel room. We will guide you through a few really fun sexual practices where you are guaranteed to laugh, have fun, and learn more about your spouse!
I should also say that this virtual retreat is very sex-specific with a strong emphasis on making love (where itβs just as much about a deeper emotional and spiritual connection). This virtual retreat is different from our in-person retreats.
Here is a link to learn more: https://getyourmarriageon.com/next-levels-virtual-lovemaking-retreat/
P.S. Communicating About Intimacy
If you struggle with communicating with your spouse about this, you might benefit a lot from our program. Many couples are getting real results. Check it out: https://getyourmarriageon.com/program/
