As a marriage coach that specializes in helping couples improve sex and intimacy, and as a believer and religious person myself, whenever I come across research about religious behavior and sex, it captures my attention. Especially considering how I struggled to reconcile spirituality and sexuality for the first 35 years of my life!
Every year, social scientists from The National Marriage Project, the Wheatley Institution, and Brigham Young University run a study called The State Of Our Unions to get a pulse on the health of marriage and family life in the United States.
Among the questions asked in the survey, researchers find out about religious attitudes and behaviors. Respondents, aged 18 to 55, also respond to how frequently they have sex with their spouse and how happy they are with the quality of their sexual relationship.
Of all the groups studied, 65% of those that report attending religious service together regularly have sex once a week or more often. This is higher than those that occasionally attend religious services (46% of men, 53% of women in this group report having sex once a week), and even higher for those that never attend or are nonreligious (40% of men, 45% of women in this group report having sex once a week).
Sexual satisfaction is also highest amongst those that attend religious service together, with 75% of men and 73% of women reporting they’re “very happy” with their sexual relationship, compared with 54% of men and 60% of women that occasionally attend, and 47% of men and 52% of women that never or rarely attend or are nonreligious.
Of course, correlation doesn’t mean causation. But why would religious couples report having a more satisfying sexual relationship and report increased frequency?
My thought is that religious teachings often center around treating others around us with respect and dignity. We’re taught to be humble, honest, and trustworthy. We’re taught to forgive and be patient. We’re taught to be less judgmental, to care for and serve others, and to pay close attention to our intentions and motivations in our hearts.
Aren’t all of these qualities and virtues absolutely essential to developing an intimate relationship?
What other qualities have you found that religion offers that contribute to a happy sexual relationship?
