How to Do a Strip Tease

by | Nov 9, 2022 | General Posts

The Strip Tease. You may have seen one in a movie, or during a concert. You may have closed your eyes, or you may have been a little envious by how smooth the performer seemed. However, the strip tease doesn’t have to be exclusively for the exotic dancer. In fact, strip teases could be just what the doctor ordered when it comes to building intimacy in a happy marriage!

Why Should I Try Strip Teasing?

An intimate marriage is built on shared experiences. Having fun, silly, or sexy memories together will help build your trust in each other, feelings of connection, and love. In addition, being creative and trying something new sexual will help engage your mind, the biggest sex organ. A strip tease can be a great way to build desire and to get to know your spouse on a whole different level. 

Please remember, every sexual experience should be consented to by both parties. Ask your spouse if they would like to give or receive a strip tease. Don’t use this post to try and guilt your spouse into something they are uncomfortable with. 

Strip teases can be super fun! However, before we start they can feel intimidating, uncomfortable, and/or just awkward! We may be worried we’ll just look silly instead of sexy. Here are my tips to help you feel confident trying a strip tease. If you would like to start with a lap dance, check out our post or podcast on the subject! 

In this post, I am going to focus on a wife giving a strip tease to her husband. However, a lot of these principles will apply both ways! If you would like a more detailed post as a husband on how to give a strip tease, let us know!

Set Up

A strip tease requires a little bit of set up. The right atmosphere can make or break the experience for both of you! The three things to consider as you set up are outfit, environment, and mindset.

#1 Outfit

The outfit is a crucial part of doing a strip tease (you need something to take off!) First, think of what clothing items you feel sexy in. Is it lingerie, a fancy dress, or a flannel shirt? It can also be fun to consider what “character” you want to play. You can dress like a cowgirl, a princess, or a show girl. Some women find it helpful to “play pretend” by dressing up to help them get out of their head and get into their routine!

It’s generally best to wear layers. You could try a dress, with a silky slip underneath, and then your underwear. A coat is also a great layer to add! Buttons can be fun to play with, but be ready to be patient with yourself if you fumble a bit!

Lastly, you should consider movability. If you really want to put on a show, you may need some clothes you are comfortable moving around in. High heels can be really sexy, but if you are worried about tripping try just going barefoot!

As a fun addition, add in some props! A hat, umbrella, or a tie could be other element’s to play with during your performance.

 #2 Environment

The next thing to consider is the setting. Decide where in the house you are going to put on your show. Tidy up and make sure there aren’t any tripping hazards! Next, consider where you want your audience. A chair could give you a lot of room for moving around your husband or for touching them. A bed though might make it more convenient to get spicy afterward (hot tip; if you are both into it, you can try tying him to the bedpost so he can’t touch you while you tease him ;). Pick out the seating based on how/if you would like your spouse to participate. 

Next, consider the ambiance. A low light can help add to the mood, and can soften the experience for any woman worried about how her body looks. Dim the lights, bring in a lamp, or light some candles. You could try to position a mirror so your husband can see both sides of the show, or position it so you can see yourself! If that makes you anxious, consider taking any mirrors out of the room so you can feel comfortable.

Music is one of the best ways to set the mood! Consider syncing your routine to a song, or just have a playlist on in the background to add to the ambiance. Pick out songs that make you feel sexy (I love the song Dress by Taylor Swift, or really any song on her reputation album).

Get creative. Maybe spray his favorite perfume around the room. If you want to roleplay or tell a story, add some details to really sell it. And have fun! Half the battle is taking the time to allow yourself to slip into “sexy mode”. With the right attitude (not “oh man I gotta do all this set up” but “what will make this more fun for us?”) this prep work will signal to your body it’s time to get turned on!

#3 Mindset

That brings us to our last area of set up, our mindset. Like I said before, trying a strip tease can seem scary! A lot of women are intimidated by what they have seen on the screen and don’t want to look silly. Give yourself space to be yourself, and drop your expectations. You don’t need to look like an exotic dancer. Your husband loves you, and will be so happy you want to have this experience with him. Don’t be afraid to laugh and have fun with it! The experience will build intimacy if you both are committed to non-judgment and letting go of expectations. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be arousing!

Give yourself permission to have a practice round. Try it out by yourself first if that will lessen your nerves. Also set the expectation that the first round won’t be perfect. In fact, you most likely won’t ever feel that everything turns out like you saw it in your head. You’re learning a new skill, and that takes patience. And I am sure your husband will be happy to let you practice over and over again.

Lastly, make it you! Your performance can be funny, goofy, serious, sweet, active or anything you want. Remember, your husband chose you. Whatever you are is sexy. Don’t force yourself to copy a persona you aren’t comfortable with! Intimacy (or into-ME-see) is about being and learning about yourself. Release your inner sexy, but don’t feel like you have to be anything other than what you are. 

Getting Spicy

After all that prep, you’re probably ready to get going! I’m going to go step by step, throwing in some tips and tricks along the way. Take what you want from my ideas, but don’t be afraid to mix it up! Decide how long you want this to last. It could take anywhere from a minute (just getting undressed very slowly) to a whole routine that could last multiple songs. Do you want to include a dance? Do you want to act like a character? This is all about being you and showing up for your spouse. 


Start by showing off that sexy outfit you put together! Maybe start from behind, touch him a little bit, then move to the front for the whole view. Strike a pose, dance a little, or tease him with your words. No matter how long you want the experience to last, you should move slower than you think you need to. A strip tease is all about the anticipation. 

Here’s how I would start…

Text him you have a special show for him and tell him where to sit. Then, you come in from behind. Run your hands down his arms and give him a kiss on the cheek (or neck). Slowly walk around him and take a few steps out in front. Ask him if he likes your outfit. Give him plenty of time to notice. Walk in a slow circle, letting him take it in. Shake your butt a little if you want. Then, cross one arm over your body and grab the bottom of your shirt. Cross your other arm, and then slowly lift your shirt over your head. Move in close to him. Maybe lean over, holding the arms of the chair (showing off your chest). Trace your finger along his face. Get close to his mouth, but don’t kiss him yet. 


Okay, you’ve got him interested. Now is the crucial, but often forgotten moment. You have his attention, but leave room for the anticipation to grow before you get to the climax. Try out some level changes; kneel in front of him, lean over him. Move back, circle around him. If you aren’t comfortable dancing, maybe pick out some poses beforehand that you think look sexy and just move through those. Remember, you don’t have to stay serious! Strike a pose in a silly way, or laugh with him. Keep a dialogue going if that helps you feel more connected. He can root you on too!

Don’t be afraid to touch him. Slide into his lap, slip your hands into his shirt. Grab his hands and place them on your body. 

If you’re up for it, one of my favorite moves here is to slowly turn around and take two steps away from him. Take a wide stance, grab your pants, and slowly pull them to your ankles. Try to keep a flat back; it makes your butt look great. Once your pants are all the way down, step out of your pants and turn back around. 


Now, for the grand finale! If you want to make this last as long as possible, you can start undressing him. Unbutton his shirt/ slide it over his head. Touch his bare chest. If the mood is right, you can also start rubbing his penis through his pants. Or, slip your hand down there. 

When you are ready, start taking off your bra. The best way I’ve found to do this is 1) unhook it 2) cross your arms and hold it in place 3) put one arm down and let that strap fall 4) switch hands and let the other side slip off 5) drop both your hands at the same time and let it fall to the floor. Do this from far away if you want him to really take in this finale, or perch on his lap if you want to lead directly into a makeout. 


It might be a good idea to set your expectations for what you want to happen after. Do you want to go straight into sex, or do you still need some arousal? If you played a character, do you want to continue the role play during intimacy or does that make you uncomfortable? If this performance was stretching your comfort zone, you may need a break afterwards, or you may need him to take the reins. Communicate! 


A strip tease can be a fun present to give to your husband. And it can honestly make you feel really sexy. Bring your own personality and charm into the routine. Don’t feel like a failure if you feel silly. Allow yourself room to be bad at it. If you come into it with a love for yourself and your husband, you can’t go wrong. 

Written by Amanda Severson with Get Your Marriage On!

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<h3>Amanda Severson</h3>

Amanda Severson

Hi, I'm Amanda! I'm a grad student on her way to becoming a Marriage and Family Therapist. I'm a wife and a sex enthusiast. I am a psychology nerd whose life goal is to help every couple find the absolute joy of sharing your life with someone else.

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