Is It Grabbing or Groping?

by | Feb 5, 2025 | General Posts

There’s a fine but significant line between grabbing and groping. Understanding this difference can prevent unnecessary relationship tension and help foster a truly intimate, sexy marriage.

Generally speaking, many women love being grabbed by their partner (check with her first!). Why? Because it’s a sign of desire—not just for their body, but for them as a whole person. A passionate grab can say, “I see you. I want you. You matter to me.”

But groping? That’s a different story. Very few women appreciate being groped, and here’s why.

The object of attention in a grab is the whole person. It’s an intentional act of connecting with the whole person. It’s a touch infused with emotion, heart, care, and attention to their experience.

Groping, on the other hand, feels thoughtless—focused on a body part rather than the person it belongs to.

The Mood Matters

The mood behind grabbing is serious yet passionate. It’s about expressing desire in a way that acknowledges your partner’s emotions and responds to the moment. Groping, however, tends to feel idle, careless, or even selfish, as though the touch is for the groper’s benefit alone.

Passion is the hallmark of grabbing. It’s deliberate, emotional, and often electrifying because it’s about connection.

Groping, in contrast, can feel detached—more about habit than intimacy.

Have You Talked About It?

If you haven’t already, consider having an open, honest conversation with your spouse about the difference between grabbing and groping in your marriage. It may seem like a small distinction, but small things often carry big meanings in relationships.

Ask your spouse:

  • “Do you feel desired when I touch you?”
  • “Are there ways I can make my touch more meaningful for you?”
  • “Tell me of a time you liked the way I grabbed you.”

Real connection happens when we move beyond the surface and choose to truly see and cherish our spouse as the incredible person they are.

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<h3>Dan Purcell</h3>

Dan Purcell

Dan and his wife Emily Purcell are the founders of Get Your Marriage On! They are on a mission to strengthen marriages by making lovemaking incredibly fun and deeply connecting. Dan is a sex coach. They are also the creators of the popular Intimately Us and Just Between Us apps that have been downloaded over 750,000 times. They are the host of the popular Get Your Marriage On! podcast with over 1 million listens. In addition to their coaching program, they host romantic retreat getaways for couples, and put on workshops on how to have a great sex life and deeper intimacy. Dan and Emily met in middle school and have been married for over 20 years and have 6 kids. Dan loves cracking dad jokes, running marathons, planning the next creative date night with his sweetheart, and enjoys the magnificent outdoors around their St George home.

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