One year, before New Years Day, I printed out a year-at-a-glance calendar on a large format printer. I taped it up behind the door of our walk-in closet to where my wife and I would see it regularly.
I stocked the nearby shelf with crayons and pens. Every day as we got ready for bed, we marked down memorable events together as they happened throughout the year. It quickly became a fun and quirky tradition for us!
One of the things we recorded on that calendar was what we did on our date nights—and yes, we even had a special symbol to indicate times we had sex.
I was surprised at how something so simple could have such an impact on our relationship. Here are three benefits we’ve experienced from recording together when we have sex:
1. Less Conflict
Early in our marriage, we had our fair share of disagreements about how often we were intimate. One of us would think it was happening more frequently than the other, which led to some unnecessary tension. By recording it together, it took the guesswork out of the equation.
Just a quick note, though: this “data” should never be used as a weapon. It’s about clarity and connection, not about keeping score or proving a point. It only reduces conflict when both people consent to it. We don’t secretly record it without the other’s knowing.
2. We Pay Attention To What Gets Recorded
There’s something about writing things down that makes them stand out in your mind. Just like tracking your meals if you’re trying to eat healthier or noting your workouts if you’re getting fit, recording when we have sex naturally made our intimacy a bigger priority. It wasn’t just another task on the list; it became something we both looked forward to and valued more deeply.
3. It Becomes More Meaningful
We found that the act of recording these moments added an extra layer of significance to them. It’s similar to why people journal or take lots of photos at special events—those memories become richer when you take the time to acknowledge them. Adding a little note about what made that intimate time special brings back a flood of memories, making those moments even sweeter over time.
When we created the Intimately Us app, we wanted to bring this intimacy calendar idea to life in a digital format. One of the most popular features of the app is the private Intimacy Calendar, where couples can record their special moments together. If you don’t have the app, download it today.
So, how about you? Do you and your spouse keep track of when you’re intimate?
