Manual Stimulation for Her

Here’s a great way for husbands to bless their wives with gentle, tender touch.

A woman’s clitoris, the head of which is about the size of a small pea and twice as sensitive as the head of her husband’s penis, is the primary source of her sexual pleasure.

Unfortunately, the clitoris isn’t located inside her vagina and doesn’t get stimulated much during sexual intercourse. These manual stimulation tips and techniques are great for stimulating your wife’s clitoris during foreplay or sex. Give a few of them a try tonight!

Note to husbands: going straight to the clitoris before there’s been some arousal is uncomfortable for many women! It’s best to communicate and build up the anticipation. Let her get a bit aroused, wet, and engorged a bit before going straight for her clitoris. 

More tips:

  • Wash your hands. She’d appreciate it if your hands are clean.
  • Clip your fingernails. A little snag could derail the joy of the whole experience.
  • Use Lube. Gliding around there feels way better when it’s slippery and smooth!
  • Be enthusiastic! Tell her (and mean it when you say it) how beautiful she is to you, and how much you enjoy touching her.
  • Talk. Keep the communication flowing and talk through what she likes or doesn’t like.

Long & Slow Strokes

The Long Slow Stroke Clitoral & Vaginal Stimulation Technique is perfect for beginning manual stimulation and gives you a chance to figure out where she’s “feeling it” tonight.

Both of you get into a comfortable position. We highly recommend spooning, with the husband behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. It’s a comfortable position that’s intimate and lets you feel connected while giving and receiving manual stimulation.

Start by lightly running one or two of your fingers from the bottom of her vagina up over her clitoris and back down. Switch up your strokes every once in a while by changing the pressure and starting at her clitoris instead of the bottom of her vagina. You can also switch between slow and fast strokes.

Communication is key. Ladies, the purpose of this manual stimulation technique is to get you warmed up and to figure out where you’re “feeling it” tonight. Many women tell us they are sensitive in different areas at different times of their cycles. Communicate with your husband while he strokes you. Tell him exactly where it feels good. Guide him on how much pressure to apply or how fast to stroke you. Once both of you figure out where you’re “feeling it” he can concentrate on that area later during cunnilingus or other manual stimulation techniques.

Finger Vibe

The Finger Vibe Manual Stimulation Technique uses your fingers to make a pulsing movement inside of her vagina to stimulate her during foreplay.

Getting Into Position

  1. The wife lies on her back and places a pillow or two under her head.
  2. She spreads her legs and her husband sits beside her.

How It’s Done

The husband inserts two fingers into her vagina and then makes a fast “tapping” motion so the pads of his fingers are “tapping” a single spot inside of her vagina. Vary the “tapping” speed and area the pads of your fingers are touching until you find “the spot.” If you’re stimulating her g-spot, you can also rub the palm of your hand near your thumb against her clitoris for extra stimulation.

Additional Stimulation

  • Clitoral Stimulation: Use your other hand and a small vibrator to stimulate her clitoris while performing this technique.
  • Breast Stimulation: Place a pair of nipple suckers/clamps on her nipples so she can enjoy extra breast stimulation.


The Crossed Manual Stimulation Technique generates a unique, textured sensation in your vagina from his fingers and knuckles rolling back and forth and clitoral stimulation from the palm of his hand pressed against it.

Getting Into Position

  1. The woman lies in bed with a few pillows under her shoulders and head.
  2. She spreads her legs while the man sits beside her with.

How It’s Done

He inserts two fingers all the way into her vagina and then twists his hand back and forth while keeping his fingers relaxed so they roll and cross each other. He can also press the palm of his hand near the thumb against her clitoris as he twists his hand back and forth for extra clitoral stimulation.

The Paintbrush

The Paintbrush Manual Stimulation Technique uses the head of the man’s penis to stimulate the woman’s clitoris during foreplay. This is a great technique where both spouses get to enjoy stimulation during foreplay.

Getting Into Position

  1. The wife lays on her back with a pillow under her head.
  2. She brings her knees back near her chest and spreads her legs wide and supports them with her hands behind her knees.
  3. The husband kneels in front of his wife with his legs open and knees on each side of her.

How It’s Done

Add a few drops of your favorite lube to your wife’s vulva and the head of your penis. Use the head and soft underside of your penis to make paint strokes over your wife’s vulva. Start with soft, up-and-down strokes over her entire vulva, and then start making swirly strokes on different areas of her vulva as she gets more aroused. Experiment with different strokes and concentrate more on her clitoris as she gets more aroused.

Once both of you can’t take it anymore, penetrate her and start making love.

Jiggle & Jam

The Jiggle & Jam Manual Stimulation Technique uses your husband’s penis for clitoral stimulation during foreplay or when things need to cool down a bit during intercourse. It’s jiggling the penis like a vibrator against her vulva.

Getting into Position

  1. The wife sits on a soft chair or couch with her butt at the edge.
  2. She pulls her legs up with her knees near her chest and holds them there with her hands under her knees.
  3. The husband kneels before her and adjust the height of his pelvis so that his penis is at the same level as her vulva. He can raise his pelvis with pillows under his knees if needed.


Once the husband’s penis is erect, he or his wife takes his penis and jiggles the head of it over her clitoris.

This is a great technique for clitoral stimulation right before intercourse to help get her warmed up and ready for sex. It’s also great for when things get a little too exciting for the husband and he needs a little time to cool down but keep his wife moving towards an orgasm.

Pause & Rub

The Pause and Rub Technique is really simple. All you do is get into a position where your husband can penetrate you and have easy access to manually stimulate your clitoris using your favorite techniques. This technique will give you the full feeling of being penetrated by your husband while he stimulates you. Pause and Rub is also a great technique for letting your husband cool down during intercourse while he keeps stimulating you towards orgasm.

Button Rub

Seventy percent of women can’t have an orgasm from intercourse alone. While intercourse feels great, most women need more than that to reach orgasm. The Button Rub Intercourse Technique is an excellent, simple way to get the stimulation she needs to orgasm during intercourse.

Performing the Button Rub Technique

Your clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings; that’s twice as many as your husband’s penis. The single purpose for your clitoris is to give you pleasure. God created you this way. Clitoral stimulation is the most common avenue for a woman’s orgasm.

So, do you see where I’m going with this? You or your husband need to stimulate your clitoris during sex. The easiest and most effective method of stimulating your clitoris during intercourse is to use a few fingers to rub your clitoris while making love to your husband. The missionary position while your husband holds his upper body up with his arms is the easiest sex position to try the button rub technique in.

Wait, You Want Me To Do What?

I know, I know, you might have been taught not to touch yourself down there because it’s masturbating. Or, maybe you feel that touching yourself like that is dirty. But God gave you a clitoris to provide you with pleasure, and it’s not in your vagina. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you or your husband stimulating your clitoris while making love or during foreplay for that matter. God created you with a clitoris for a reason. Enjoy it with your husband.

Cluster Squeeze

For this technique, you’re going to pinch the sides of her clitoris up and down. 

  1. Have your wife lay on her back with her legs slightly spread.
  2. Gently pinch the outer labia on either side of the head of her clitoris.
  3. Pinch up away from her body. You’ll feel her clitoris between your fingers.
  4. Repeat steps 2 and 3.

Ask her if she wants more or less pressure or a faster or slower pace.

Pearl Necklace

The Pearl Necklace Manual Stimulation Technique uses a pearl necklace to gently stimulate her vulva and clitoris during foreplay. 

This technique works best when the wife is laying on her back and her husband is by her side. He can be laying beside her or sitting next to her side. Go with what works best for you.

The husband takes an end of the pearls and slowly drags them over his wife’s vulva. After a few rounds, he gently opens her lips with his free hand so that the pearls stimulate her inner lips and clitoris.

This technique works best if the pearls are real. The extra weight of the pearls gives the sensations much more “body”.

Wrapping it Up

Stimulating a woman’s gentile area can bring immense pleasure. Remember, take it slow, communicate with each other, and have fun!

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<h3>Amanda Severson</h3>

Amanda Severson

Hi, I'm Amanda! I'm a grad student on her way to becoming a Marriage and Family Therapist. I'm a wife and a sex enthusiast. I am a psychology nerd whose life goal is to help every couple find the absolute joy of sharing your life with someone else.

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